I had already lived a good few years and then some when I tried self harming
For years I used to read about it and think it was ridiculous
Why couldn't these people who harm themself
See how wrong it was???
Then one day I knew why they did it......
How did I find out?????
It was the day that I felt something sticky on my hands and realised that I had unknowingly ( in my stressed out and painful state of utter desperation) scratched and dug so deep into my hand that my nails had chunks of skin under them and my hand was an utter mess
Naturally you would think that my hand was stinging and throbbing with pain !!!!
It wasn't !!
My hand felt numb,
And I felt great !!!!
In my confused mind, finally I knew why my insides were hurting so bad
I had blood, I had an injury and even though my hand wasn't hurting at that point, I could see a source for the pain I felt
No longer did I feel the pain was only in my mind
I had a reason for the pain
And it felt sooooo good
Feeling suicidal may also be seen as a form of self harm
But to me the two are entirely different
I have self harmed and I have contemplated suicide
Suicide is all about wanting the pain to stop
Self Harming is all about trying to place a source to the pain you are in
I look at my sons now and they are also in pain, my youngest as an outlet for his stress and coping with his ADHD, regularly hurts himself, at this point it is more open and not hidden away, which I am very grateful for.
He will bang his head on the wall and slap his own face, both of these are very distressing to watch as a parent but it is the darker side of self harming that I find far more disturbing.
As a parent we should all be extra vigilant for signs of self harming
The first sign to look out for would be a
withdrawn personality, sometimes when life is a very dark journey, children and adults too can withdraw from the world around them, it is a defence mecanism, you can try and pretend that things are not really happening, that way.
Someone who used to be social and bubbly may spend more and more time alone, if you are aware of this, talk to them, say you have noticed a difference and want to help.
Be
persistant
Tell the child/adult you can see they are in pain and taken
notice of it
if someone else can see you are in pain, it feels like a relief, after all how can the pain be in your head if someone else has seen the pain you are in
DO NOT be
judgemental
What may seem a small problem to you is obviously a big problem to them
Take them
seriously
If you hear someone say "It hurts"
Ask what you can do to help
Be
available to help in any way you can
if you know of someone who is self harming NEVER cover for them
The sooner they confront their action and get help
The sooner the pain will also stop for them
(September 2007) (
