• Psychologist: "Have you ever deliberately harmed yourself by cutting?"
• My response: "Only when I couldn't afford a tattoo or a piercing."
• Psychologist: "But that's..."
• My response: "exactly the same sort of pain, it's just more socially acceptable. People don't look at you like
  some sort of messed up freak."
• Psychologist: "I'd never considered that."

Self destructive behaviour is more common than anyone realises. And it doesn't just take the form of cutting one's skin with a sharp blade. There are many different ways to be self destructive, some are just more obvious than others. I'm going to try and run through some of the different ways people self-destruct. Keep in mind, I'm not a psychologist, I'm just going with what I've learned from doing it myself and being there when people close to me went through it as well.

What makes some of these things difficult to detect is that some people do them for different reasons other than to be self destructive. I'm not going to go into the reasons why people become self destructive, as I think that other advice on minti well and truely covers that, I'm just pointing out some things that even my psychiatrist missed, and show how easily it can be missed or misinterpreted. There are many complex reasons as to why anyone does anything. These are just a few examples.

Cutting. This is the most obvious form of physical self destruction. It can vary from tiny paper cut like scratches to deep cuts requiring stitches. Some people do it to get the adrenalin release that this pain gives - which can help relieve or re-focus mental and emotional pain. Some do it for pure attention and sympathy. The easiest way to tell if it is a sympathy and attention is fairly easy - they make it very obvious to everyone, often in a rather annoying fashion. When it is to re-focus emotional or mental pain, they will often try to cover it up, make excuses, and even get embarassed if it is noticed. However, if it is purely for attention, this person needs help and should not be ignored - or they will end up doing it for the pain aspect. On the flip side: with "emo" sub-culture becoming almost fashionable amoung young people, some cut for the sake of wanting to be like their friends and because their friends are doing it, they do too. Then, some people do it to try and hurt others emotionally. "You upset me so much, look what you made me do!" This is often used as a form of emotional abuse by a few people.  I personally think rather lowly of anyone doing this for the reasons of peer pressure or abuse, because it cheapens the pain of those that are in genuine trouble and do it for real.

Burns. I've known many people that burn themselves instead of cutting. A common form of this is pressing the hot metal from a cigarette lighter that has been on for a while against the skin, creating a little first or second degree burn - that, depending on the lighter, can look like a weird little smiley face. Others will just melt hot wax onto their skin, hold their hand over a candle flame until it hurts, or various other forms of creating pain through heat. But then, others will do it just to look "tough" to their mates... or out of sheer curiosity as to how much something really does hurt! Yes that seems even more nuts than doing it for the pain factor, but I've seen it done - and I've seen a few people look very stupidly sheeping afterwards as well.

Scratching and hair pulling. These are often seen as mere nervous traits, but are often also a form of self destructive behaviour. They cause small amounts of pain and if done badly enough, can cause minor injuries. Often the person doing this doesn't realise why they do it. However, after a bad case of headlice, it can be all too easy to fall into the trap of constantly scratching and pulling at hair just out of habit. Someone who has naturally dry itchy skin may scratch out of habit a lot more often than other people, and can get a bit carried away with it at times. That doesn't mean they are deliberately trying to hurt themselves.

Tattoos and piercings. These create the same sort of pain as cutting, and thus the same sort of high. However, some people do only get them because it is fashionable, it expresses something about themselves, or they just think it looks cool. There are other reasons, but when someone gets "addicted" to getting ink and steel driven into their skin, thats often a sign that there's a bit more to it than just appearances. Also, if they haven't the money for a tattoo or piercing they may then show signs of other forms of self destructive behaviour.

Sport. Some people take part in extreme sports that create huge adrenalin rushes, can create vicious injuries, and even result in death if unlucky. These people aren't out to get injured or killed, but the fear factor of facing those high risks creates an adrenalin surge that creates a temporary emotional high. The same sort of emotional high that one gets from cutting. Even sports such as boxing can fall into this category. That's not to say that all people that partake in these sports are doing it for this reason - but many that do are doing it for that reason and just don't know it themselves. But, some just do it to keep fit and because they can take a personal pride in doing something unique to them, that few others will dare even try.

Failure. Some people fail study courses they take on for many reasons. Some people have learning difficulties, terrible teachers, too many other things going on in life to concentrate on learning, or a miriad of other reasons for not passing. Some people can't hold down a job and get fired or quit for all manner of reasons. However, some people do it deliberately. Some people are so afraid of success that they deliberatey sabotage their own efforts so that they fail. Often they don't even realise they are doing it. This appears to create a rollercoaster of emotional and mental turmoil for the person, and that attracts sympathy and attention from others in much the same way that people that cut for attention do.

Rejection. Very closely related to failure is social rejection. Some people will do things to deliberately sabotage friendships and relationships between themselves and others. Some will even go so far as to deliberately push and pressure people into hurting them. Again, this creates a rollercoaster ride of turmoil for them that gets attention and sympathy. However, some just have no idea how to maintain such inter-personal relationships, others are simply afraid of allowing anyone to get too emotionally close to them, and some are just unlucky. Some people are abusive, and as soon as the victim of this abuse retaliates and defends themself, the abuser is the one that cries abuse. The abusive types often accuse their victim of abuse to try and take away any blame upon themselves.

Hypocondria. Some people will deliberately make themselves ill to get attention and sympathy, some even find that being physically ill helps take away the mental and emotional pain they suffer. Others fake illness to get this attention. And then some people are genuinely prone to poor health. Elderly people are most commonly known for this, however it can happen to anyone at any age. Some parents have even been known to deliberately make their own children sick. Some women go on a pregnancy and abortion rollercoaster or deliberately cause themselves to miscarry. Although such behaviour may seem very heartless, cruel, and selfish, it is a cry for help that should not be ignored.

Drugs and alcohol abuse. Of course, this is also a very obvious form of self destruction and many people turn to drugs and alcohol to take away mental and emotional pain. But, some people do it because "it's fun" or "it''s cool". Of course, there's nothing fun or cool about frying your brain and ending up spending the rest of your life totally messed up, if indeed you actually live long enough to do that, but some people sadly do think that way - and then find themselves addicted.

Sexual promiscuity. Some people simply have a sex drive that knows no bounds with no morals to keep it in check. Others do so for the sake of getting attention, not realising that it's not really the type of attention they need. The little emotional rush they get from having a one-night stand doesn't last long and they continue to crave that feeling of being wanted by and attractive to others. This can be dangerous, not just in that they are exposing themselves to disease and relationship problems, but also in that it can become like an addiction - and if they get rejected a few too many times, it can make the underlying problem worse for them.

Other wierdities. There are other strange things that people will do for attention or to cause themselves harm. Children are often prone to hitting their head on things - and sometimes they do it deliberately. Some do it out of experimentation because they have seen someone else doing it, others do it to feel pain, attention, and for all the reasons of other self destructive behaviour. Some may bite themselves. Some stick fingers in places they know all to well they shouldn't. Some people, especially children, can be very creative in the way they behave in a self destructive manner. They explore and experiment until they find something that will make others sit up and take notice. And often they just do things to find out what will happen.

When someone is doing a combination of the above things, thats a good sign that something is seriously wrong. If it's just one of them, well... maybe there are other reasons for it? The only way to really know is to talk to the person and find out what is really going on inside their head.