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ADVICE RATING

3.48 (May work) from 14 votes (402 Visits)

BULLYING UPDATE

by elizabeth

(July 2006) (rank 46th)

Earlier this month I requested advice on bullying at school. My daughter of 8 had been bullied by one particular girl for two and half years. I felt I had tried everthing to no avail. After reading the comments/advice given I decided I was going to take a completely different

approach. I was going to befriend this girl. I made sure that everyday I said hello and asked her how she was going. Last week she sought me out to say hi and tell me what she had been up to on the weekend. The next day I took the opportunity to ask her about her relationship with my daughter. I asked her if my daughter was ever nasty to her and she said no. I then told her that I knew that they both did not like each other. She said, NO! I like Jessica. I was very shocked. I then told her that some of the stuff she had been saying and doing to my daughter was extremely upsetting and that if there was anything that Jessica was doing to upset her that she could tell me and I would make sure it was dealt with. She again said that she liked my daughter and she did not mean to hurt her feelings. With my heart beating hard and still wanting to thump this girl and her parents and the school, I left it at that and told her that I'd catch up with her tomorrow.

Today the little girl with the questionable behaviour ran up to me, shouted hi and asked if Jessica could come for a play over this weekend. I told her that unfortunately this weekend and the next we were busy but if she wanted to organise something that she needs to speak with my daughter. The question now is, do I allow a friendship to blossom? I have not told my daughter of my sneaky rendevous. As far as school rules are concerned, they don't approve of the parent of the bullied to approach the bully, but I am so glad I did this. Time will tell if there is a lasting affect. Thankyou to all who responded to my cry for help.

The war may be over (fingers crossed)

x D x

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ADVICE RATING

3.48 (May work) from 14 votes

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	October 10th \| kezwood

Re: BULLYING UPDATE

I say keep up the befriending but definately tell your daughter about it. Ease her into that bit of information too - you don't want to undo the great and positive changes you have succeeded in making.

This little girl might be craving attention - you might be giving her something she desperately seeks - attention, someone to talk to, a friend.

I'd be having the play date either at your own house, or somewhere neutral like a park - and make it short and within set times - two hours at the local park and then you will take her home.

Best of luck and good on you for persuing this matter.....

Kerryn

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	August 2006 \| Dawn

bullies

Good for you, but be on guard! I would suggest that if this little girl wants to play with your daughter, make the first play date at your house. Explain to your daughter why you have invited her over to play. Could it be that your attention to this girl is something that is needed? Perhaps she has problems with her own Mom and in you she sees a replacement. This could be a whole new set of problems if this child attaches herself to you. Children are very territorial about their parents watch for signs, be careful, and as I said have playdates at your home whereyou can watch her activities!

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	4.00 (Good) \| July 2006 \| yumsus

Glad to hear

Good to hear that the war might be over. Keep us posted on what the outcome is, it will definitely be helpful for future tactics on dealing with bullies!

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	4.00 (Good) \| July 2006 \| Sistersarah55

Good for you...

Sounds like you've done a really great thing but i think that your going to have to be careful of your daughters reaction to suddenly having a play date with her worst nightmare!

Really hope it works out for you all and its cucumber sandwiches all round. xxx

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| July 2006 \| Tink1976

Great releive.

I am glad to hear things may get better for your daughter at school. I don't think the school can say anything about you approaching the girl as you have done it in a great way and haven't been threatening towards her (you have great restraint).

The bully is probably now getting the attention that she craved (its a same that she had to bully first) and you are getting a positive result, I would let things take there own course now and wait and see if a friendship developes between your daughter and the bully, but I would also just a keep an eye on it to make sure the friendship is a fair one and not one where your daughter feels she must be friends with her or a one sided one.

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	5.00 (Excellent) \| July 2006 \| TheMentorMom

Fingers Crossed

I hope this all works out for all involved! I feel for you, it is hard to watch our children experience the pain let alone bullying. I hope you keep us posted.

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Related keywords: beating, befriend, bullied, bully, bullying, cry, friendship, hurt, nasty, rendevous, shocked, shouted, sneaky, thump, update, upset


Any contributed content above is the subjective opinion of that member or external author, and not of Minti.com Pty Ltd. If you are searching for health related advice we strongly suggest you seek professional medical support. View our Terms of Service for more details.

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