How Will They Remember You?

When you think of your parents what words come to mind? 

Strict, fair, weak, loving, kind, uninvolved...........

After a discussion i was having with a friend about how we go about disciplining our children and how, sometimes, as parents we can sound like screeching banshees, this got me thinking.  We all have our own strategies to deal with our kids behaviour and we're all striving to do better by our children.  But I'm always surprised to find out that the people we think of as calm, patient parents actually yell at their children.  We all have our moments from time to time but it's the day to day actions that will remain ingrained.

It can be really hard to get your children to listen and take heed of what you say.  Kids will be kids and will inevitably make some wrong choices or act inappropriately - in a way that's their job.  Our job is to guide them to make the right choices.  Does screeching your requests help?  Probably not.   My friend commented on her neighbour being very calm and always explaining everything to her child, where as Dad was more of a disciplinarian.  She couldn't understand how her neighbour could be so calm and wondered if she ever felt like letting rip because the boy was still naughty anyway.  So, i guess, she felt it didn't make a difference whether she was calm or angry.

Well, i think it does.  It's not really what they do or the actual discipline (unless it is actual abuse) that your children will remember but the way you do it that you will be remembered for.  For myself the word that comes to mind when i think of my father is scary.   As an adult i don't really feel that now but it leaves a lasting impression which can be hard to shake.

I don't want to be remembered in that way.  I think the louder you get the less your heard. Obviously this isn't advice about discipline strategies so I've linked some articles that might help with that, we all need to find the strategies that work for our individual families and children.

 So, at the end of the day what impression do you want to leave with your children?