by Roger & Christine Day
It's 8.30 on a hectic Monday morning. Your 10-year-old son is standing on the doorstep ready for school. Suddenly he announces, 'Help! I've got homework! What can I do?' Then, before anyone can reply, he says, 'Oh, well, I didn't have time,
did I?'
'Of course you had time, you lazy so-and-so,' might be one instant reaction. But before you point the finger at your children's poor time management, consider how you are doing in this important area.
Managing your time
Are you always running out of time? When your daughter asks for help with her science project, do you tell her to keep quiet because you're watching your favourite TV programme? Are you too busy reading the newspaper to watch your son's amazing cartwheel?
Now's the time to spend time with your children. That's the message every parent needs to take to heart. We all lead such busy lives that the priority of raising children often gets put to the bottom of the pile. The trouble is, our children will never again be the age they are right now.
However busy you are with your career, your leisure activities and your jobs around the house, spending time with your children must be near the top of the pile.
James Dobson's often quoted story of the dad and son who spent the day fishing together is very appropriate here. Years later, after the two had both tragically died, their diaries carried contrasting entries for that same day.
'Caught nothing. Another wasted day,' penned the dad.
The son, on the other hand, wrote, 'Today I went fishing with my dad. It was the best day of my life.'
It's never too late to give your children the quality time they need and deserve. Training your child takes time and patience. Be available to talk with your child, not always preoccupied with your own problems or rushing off to yet another activity.
Go on outings as a family, do fun things together at home such as planning and cooking a three-course meal or having a bonfire in the garden to burn up the dead leaves.
Reading to your children is a useful way of spending time with them. As they get older, read with them or get them to read you the story.
It will do an immense amount of good for your children's self-esteem if they know you want to spend time with them. 'It's not as much fun doing this when you're at school. I enjoy being with you, son.'
Helping children use time
Organising your time is one half of the coin. Teaching your children time management is the other half. Help them to use every opportunity to the full.
As children grow through the primary school years, help them to accept increasing responsibility for the time they allocate to homework, jobs around the house and caring for pets. Teach children to use time, not to waste it.
Don't just force them to get to school on time. Help them to discipline themselves to get out of the door in the mornings. As part of their learning process, you may occasionally have to allow them to discover the consequences of being late.
Help them to control the amount of TV they watch in the evenings so that they have time for other things before bedtime. Discuss the pros and cons of sitting and watching TV or playing a game together.
Help them to plan their school holidays so they have time to do as many different things as they can. Talk with them about the importance of routines, bedtime, mealtimes and time with the rest of the family.
A danger to avoid is allowing children to get caught in the junior rat race – rushing off to some form of club, sport, music lesson or dancing class every evening of the week. They need time to relax at home and just be themselves in the same way we as parents do.
Visitors to India are often confronted by people learning English with some of the first words they learn, 'What is time?' What indeed! Many people in the West could learn a great deal from the way people in the East generally have such a relaxed attitude to time and time pressure.
Spending time together
Make time to do fun things together as a family. You don't have to spend vast sums of money to enjoy each other's company. Remember what you enjoyed as a child. Try these ideas, then get the whole family to invent others:
* Make a saucepan full of popcorn and sit around the fire (or radiator!) talking about the funny incidents in your family
* Go out and collect leaves and conkers (chestnuts) together
* Have a family conker championship - see if William (or Mary) really is the conkerer
* Get a squeezy bottle of poster paint and do some leaf-printing
* Make a kite or an origami paper plane and fly it
* Go blackberry or bilberry picking
* Go out on a windy day, spread your arms and let the wind take you all for a run
* Go swimming together
* Get some string and make cat's cradles
* Have a family talent show/karaoke
* Go for a drink at McDonald's – try one large milkshake with a straw each!
* Celebrate the dog's birthday – children make party food, invent games such as blowing bubbles for your dog to catch, everyone in the family try a Doggy Choc each (they are quite tasty)
* Have your own April, June or October Fool's Day
* Sleep downstairs together and have a midnight feast
* Make a poster of the all the disaster/reject family photos – invent silly captions
* Draw your own family tree together
* Look at a catalogue and plan what you would buy if you were millionaires
Summary
Spending time with your children at all ages and stages is not only possible but great fun as well. The possibilities are endless. This article only includes a few ideas. Let your imagination run wild, then go for it. Who knows, today may be remembered by your children as the very best day in their whole lives.
www.therapyinromania.org.uk
(October 2007) (
well done.Jenny
