Helping your teen when they are becoming sexually active

As some of you would have read our teenage son has recently become sexually active. Over the last 4 days or so our lives have been some what confused and busy. The day the discovery was made ( I found a condom used under his mattress when changing his bed as per normal) I had to wait for him to come home from school to approach him about it.  This I tell you was the longest 4 hours of my life I think. How do I ask?? Do I just toss it out and let him think we don't know?? Many things went through my head in that time.  I thought it might be good if I shared my experience with you all and hopefully someone gets some ideas out of it.

When our son (who is almost 14) got home I took him to his room and sat him down and asked if he was sexually active. In my approach I also informed him that there was nothing wrong if he was but if he was I also needed to know so we knew how best to support him in this time. He admitted he was and that he had taken a couple of condoms from my room.  The poor kid was so guilt ridden in his face he didn't know what way to turn. I explained that Yes i was disappointed that he felt he couldn't come to us before the 'time' to allow us to teach him the proper way to use condoms and such. yes we have had the big talk many times but as I explained to him that we felt wasn't enough.
During that afternoon I also questioned whether his girlfriend of 12 months was using the pill or any other form of contraception that he was aware of, as I don't feel it is just his responsibility to practice safe sex. He was unsure if she was or not. 

The next day I made the best decision of my parenting life so far. I called Parent Line (Victoria) as asked there advice and if there was anywhere we could take our son to help discuss STD's and such and also places for him to find out any other information he may need if he felt uncomfortable talking to his dad or myself.  They gae me the number of Action Centre here in Melbourne. I then contacted them and made an appointment for the very next morning.

Well off son and I go. He was a bit apprehensive as he thought that he would be told he was too young etc and get the bi lecture by them.  We arrived and then where called in to speak to a Nurse who informed my son of what services they offer and what they could do for him and also his girlfriend if they ever felt the need. She spoke to him about STD's, pregnancy prevention and also congratulated him on being responsible thus far by using condoms. She showed him to to correctly use a condom and all the Do's and Don'ts as well.  They gave both our son and myself a heap of brochures to bring home and read at our leisure.

Last night once our daughters went to bed, our son asked hubby and I if he could talk to us. He thanked us for taking him to the Action Centre and said he found it really useful and that he would approach his girlfriend and find out what if any contraception she is on.

The Action Centre can provide brochures and information of STD's, unplanned pregnancy, contraception, the can also provide health checks for all STD's and health in general for young people aged from 13 - 25.

ACTION CENTRE  9654 4766 or 1800 013 952