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Does your child buy friendships with candy and gifts? Are you worried that she’s being used? Would you like her to find a better way to make friends? Inside you’ll find 3 parenting tips for making friends without buying them.
Recently, I received an email from a psychologist
who works with kids. She wrote, “One problem I would like to see addressed is when children try and win friends by giving them gifts.” What a great topic! Below are some questions to ask and 3 parenting tips to share.
Parenting Questions:
I suggest that you sit down with your kids. Talk about making friends and ask these 3 questions to get them thinking.
First - “How could buying friendships with candy and gifts be an insult to the giver?”
Second - “If kids like a person because of their gifts, how good are those friendships?”
Third – “Would you like some secrets to making real friends?”
If your child answers “Yes” to the third question, Pick out some social skills your child needs. Practice one a week. Consider using the following social skills.
First Social Skill Parenting Tip:
Tell your child, “Act happy and say, ‘Hi,’ when you see your friends. Your friends will feel great and so will you. Let’s role play this social skill right now. Then practice this skill during the week and let me know the results.”
Second Social Skill Parenting Tip:
Advise your child to “Repeat what your friends say in your own words. This will show you really listened. Your friend will love your attention. Let’s make up some typical situations and role play this skill. Then practice it with other kids this week and tell me the results.”
Third Social Skill Parenting Tip:
Remind your child to “Smile when you talk. Smiling helps you look friendly. Smiles show that you like your friends. Smiles relax you inside and give you a happy feeling. Let’s pretend I’m one of your friends and let’s practice smiling while we talk. Next, practice this skill with your friends and let me know the results.”
Thank you to the psychologist who asked for this topic. I hope you can use these tips. I also hope they help all parents who want their kids to make true friends.
Social Skill Conclusion:
Many kids don’t know how to make friends. They may be shy, bully other kids, brag, or just feel awkward. As the parent, you have the opportunity to coach them. If you do, you’ll be giving them an important skill for life. You’ll be building character too.
Resource Box:
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If you liked these tips, pick up our Social Skills Kit for Kids at http://www.kidsdiscuss.com/parent_resource_center.asp?pr_id=kd011
Jean Tracy, MSS publishes a Free Parenting Newsletter. Subscribe at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.
(October 2007) (
