I have been reading and following Roger and Christine Day's Journey, since joining minti. It takes me back a few years to a world, that I could not imagine exsisted, in Britain, in the Twentieth Century. I had been brought up with love and affection, money was tight, but
love never. I knew of the Evil of Abuse and neglect within the home and world, but like many, could not imagine the reality. I will never know. I am blessed, my children are blessed.
For some though, the blessings are few, and a long, long time in coming if ever. I wish to share a story a true story. The Person involved has agreed but wishes to remain anon. Quite understandable as you will appreciate in time. This story begins when John Doe was 8 yrs old and living reasonably comfortably with his parents and young sisters in a City in Britain. He had no worries, except that he had a problem tying his laces.
One day his parents called him over and asked him how he would like to go in an Aeroplane to the otherside of the World. He was unsure, but an Aeroplane, cool. They informed him they were going to emigrate. A lot of people were taking the oppertunity to move in the hope of a better life and future, a new start a new country. John was excited and the more he thought about it the better it sounded. He started counting the day's and asking Questions about the new country, the Aeroplane and the Town.
The Day arrived, he had his own little bag, with clothes, sponge bag and toy's. The Taxi arrived, and tearfull farewells were made, promises made and gifts were exchanged. An hour or so later the airport was spotted, with big planes, and activity that spelled adventure. Up to The Check in desk, then off for a coffee and bun. John was extatic and scared and full of wonder. His Dad then turned to his Mum and said it was time, she was to go ahead with the girls and he and John would meet, them after they had been to the shop. John,s Dad then took him to the front of the airport and explained that they had not got enough money for a ticket for him. He was to make his way to Edinburgh, to his Aunty, but must never tell the police or anyone but his Aunty, if he did, they would take him away and lock him up with the, bad men, who would beat him up, for running away and then they would come and take his mummy and do the same to her.
Crying and shocked John watched his Dad walk away. I cannot imagine what went through this childs mind, but this I do know. He believed every word his Dad told him. This little child, who has been betrayed, still trusts his Dad unconditionally. He believed there was an Aunty in Edinburgh, who was waiting for him and would get him to his Mum and Dad again. A blatant lie. John was too scared to ask anyone for help incase they would tell the Police and he would get his Mummy in Trouble.
And so starts a ten year search, for a woman who does not exist, and a life of fear, abuse, and torture that many would not have survived and sadly, have not survived.
John walked away from that Airport on the Edge of a well known City in Britain and disapeared in to the night time culture of taking food from bins, sleeping in the woods, consenting to physical abuse for food and protection. John was degraded and rejected, abused, kicked, spat at, burned with cigarettes, bought and sold, and ultimatley ignored by both police and the public as he begged for a penny to buy a burger. At 18 yrs, John was mentally retarded, the abuse had left him with memory problems and issues that took him along time to work through. When he talked, he sounded drunk, but alchohol was not a problem. Drugs, were not a problem. Yet everyone assumed that they were and that begging was feeding addiction. All John wanted was to go home. A home he still believed was there and awaiting him.
John was picked up, battered and bleeding, by a Social worker, trawling the streets looking for missing children. He was brought to The Hostle and remained there for five years, while his story unfolded in bits and pieces. His family was traced. His Father a convicted child abuser, had served time, for abusing John's sisters. John had been in the system. His Mum had told the Authorities in her new Adopted Country about the abuse to her and her girls, and about John, only two weeks after arriving there. She had prayed and hoped and cried, that one day she would find her son, or have the Money to go home and seek him out. He is now trying to live, as normal a life as possible, with his Mum. However john, was de socialised as a young boy on the streets. He still wets his bed, forgets from day to day how to wash, panics in crowds, is afraid of Authority in any form. He will hide from children, still fearing that they will bully him. He eats with his hands and is afraid to be hugged by anyone, other than his Mum and sisters. He is a very wise 8 yr old Man.
John's Advice.
What is my point in asking John to share this story. Well, John agreed because he thought that if other Parents saw it, they might not abandone their children. A simple and Honest wish. He also asked if, you could teach your children not to bully lonely, dirty kids. Or to make nasty faces at homless people. He also wanted you to know that he was not a bad man and would never hurt anyone. Which is absolutely, true.
My Advice.
I wanted to share the story, to show that, poverty, neglect, abuse and hatred, surround us daily, wether we live in it or pass it in the street on the way to the shop. I want to say, love your children, your loved ones, and never, never take it for granted. Children need love and affection, above anything else. Money they can manage without, the latest toy is inconsiquential. Friendship is secondry, but without love and affection the soul withers and dies. And when passing the homless, send out a loving thought. You dont have to go up, you dont have to look them in the eye, just send out a loving thought, that one day they will find a little peace and joy. And please if you have any suspision of neglect or abuse, tell the authorities. They may not always get it right, but at least, you showed you cared, and you may just have helped one family get out. Thank you for taking the time to read, John's Story.
The following are some help lines in Britain for Adults and Children in Trouble:
ChildLine: 24hr helpline for children needing, help,guidence or protection. Phone 0800 1111. or www.childline.org.uk
Get Connected: Free confidential helpline for young people, whatever the problem. ( 1pm - 11pm, Daily). Phone. 0808 808 4994 or help@getconnected.org.uk
NSPCC: 24hr Child Protection Helpline: Free advice and support to anyone concerned about a child. Phone. 0808 800 5000. Textphone 0800 056 0566.
Runaway Helpline: 18 yrs and under who have runaway or been abandoned. Phone 0808 800 7070 or www.runawayhelpline.org.uk
National Domestic Violence Helpline: In partnership with, Women's Aid and Refudge. 0808 2000 247 or Textphone 0808 2000 247
Missing Persons: 18 yrs and over. missing and need confidential help advice. Message home service also availiable. Phone 0800 700 740 or help@messagehome.org or www.missingpersons.org .
