surviving five

hi there thought id write a quick advice as this is something that other people have asked me about in my neighbourhood recently.

i think of all the ages i have been thru so far with chloe 4 and 5 have been by far the hardest! why? well because at five kids are often starting school, socialising more and generally picking up bad habits that they bring home!
a terrific well spoken adorable child can come home suddenly swearing causing chaos and acting like a lil monster!

how did i deal with this?
pretty simple really, although i felt like pulling my hair out crying and running away thinking id never get my "nice" lil girl back, i took a deep breath and continued my parenting the same way as usual. dumb advice eh? yeah i spose it is i just continued the way i always have disiplining when needed, telling her that no her behaviour wasnt appropriate and that she would be punished until it stopped and even when i was tired and sick to death of punishing i kept going and u know what? it passed!

all kids go thru stages they get separation anxiety as bubs, they bite as toddlers and they try to act like their friends as small kids (and big kids really lol) the trick is knowing it WILL pass and not getting overwhelmed.

my rules for myself
try not to change your parenting
because other peoples kids are allowed to get away with more, if you dont like what they are doing it will only make you miserable and confuse your child.

explain why the behaviour upsets you,
your kid does deserve to know why your rules are the way they are, if they have an understanding they are more likely to stick with it.

make sure your rules are consistant
when kids know the consequenses to their actions are not going to change if you are busy / have a friend over / are tired ect they are less likely to act up when they see you as vunerable.

try not to go overboard
after all kids are kids, they like to test their boundries and will pick up things off other kids, if they see one of their peers doing something they will prob try it just to see what your reaction is, being calm about it and explaining that u dont like it will get thru to them better than screaming and flying off the handle because they SHOULD know better ,it will only upset them and confuse them more.

dont put up with bad behaviour in your home from other kids
hard one to do but allowing someone elses child to break the house rules when your child cant isnt very fair, if your kid isnt allowed to jump on furniture make sure your friends kids when in your home are told not to aswell. they may be allowed to at their house but its not their house.

reinforce what you love
tell your child "i love that you always say thankyou it makes me feel good" or "i love when you pick up your toys after you play with them" when a child knows what your approve of they are more likely to choose that behaviour to please you, kids love their parents and do WANT to make them happy most of the time if they know what makes you happy its easier for them, also when they are only getting attention for "bad" behaviour and the good things go unnoticed they dont know when they are doing the right thing.

do go with age appropriate punishments
a punishment that works on a ten yo may not work for a five yo simply becasue they dont have the same understanding of the world, this is also the same with a punishment that worked for your child at 2 may not have the same effect at five because they are interested in different things and something that felt like a punishment a few years ago doesnt seem like such a big deal now. try to go with your childs age and capabilities when choosing a punishment for bad behaviour.

well i just thought id write a few of these things that i knew worked for me, im not saying they will work for all, nor am i saying that they are fullproof, just that they worked for myself and my family and if it helps someone else then its worth the time it took for me to write it.