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Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?

jenlemen by jenlemen Young Parent(October 2007) (rank 15th)
My daughter Madeleine has been going through a hard time recently.  She's only nine, but I'm getting the sense that she really needs a little extra TLC (tender loving care) now more than ever.  This weekend we'll inaugurate our first Mother/Daugher weekend with a short bus ride away to a
nearby big city.  We'll stay with friends to cut corners and take advantage of all the free sights and sounds in this bustling metropolis.  Here are my reasons for starting this tradition at this moment in our history!

  • Chance to be alone.  Any parent of multiple kids knows how hard it is to get alone time with your kids.  The more children you have, the more difficult it is.  But this trip will give us a chance to be together in a way that we haven't been together before--that is, if you don't count the years before baby brother arrived on the scene!
  • Enough downtime to foster new conversations.  There are some conversations that simply cannot happen without huge blocks of time on your hands.  I'm counting on the many hours of traveling and wandering to provide the time for new things to come up.
  • Builds memories.    Madeleine may not realize it now, but I'm confident that big trips like this are the fabric of our shared memory of her childhood.  She will remember things I will not and vice-versa; the point is we're building memories together.
  • Creates a shared basis for adventure.  I want to send Madeleine the message that her mom is as good a partner for adventure as any!  So often, kids must fly the coop (and sometimes too soon) in order to find the fun and adventure they are looking for.  While this kind of flight is healthy and natural, I want to Madeleine to understand that being a grown up and a mother does not mean all your adventures are over.
  • Novel environment to teach life skills.  If Madeleine is to have the confidence to go away to college, try new things or volunteer for new experiences, we might as well start off on together--with me by her side showing her the way.  On this trip, we'll talk about money, public transit, restaurant etiquette and how to hail a taxi!
  • Chance to get to know each other in a new environment.   There's a side of me that Madeleine never gets to see, especially since I can work from home in my pajamas!  This trip I'll make a few business calls, meet a few blog friends and let her see the side of me that knows how to function and thrive in the adult world.  Who knows what I'll discover too about my nine year old girl?  I can't wait to find out.

What would have helped you forge a stronger bond with your mother growing up?  Any mother/daughter trip tips you'd care to share?  The comments are open for you!
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angelaurz
November 2008 | angelaurz
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?

My mum recently took my down to Newcastle for a few days of shopping  As im 19 this few days was just great, we got lost all the time, went around roundabouts the wrong way, went through red lights, oh and did i mention we got lost? hehe it was hilarious!! Although my mum never thought so at the time she can now see the funny side to it. 

I would definitly recomend a few days away with your daughter!



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TheMentorMom
November 2007 | TheMentorMom
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
My mom and I used to do this all the time!  We would head up to Traverse City and stay at a hotel (which was a real big deal at the time!).  We would sit on the beach, go shopping, check out a chick flick, etc.  I can't wait to start the tradition with my daughter.  She is only six, so we haven't done any overnighters yet, but we do a girls night out at least once a month.  Sometimes we check out a movie, other times we go to a favorite restaurant and have girl talk over a big dish of nachos -- our fav!  Great advice as usual, Jen!


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      jenlemen
November 2007 | jenlemen
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
oh i'd love to hear more about how it worked and why.  i grew up in a big family where this kind of one-on-one time wasn't totally possible.


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winja
5.00 (Excellent) | November 2007 | winja
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
great stuff! im tryin to figure out how to spend alone time with my lil girl once bubby is here, it will be easier when hes not being breastfed but untill then ive bought heaps of board games and will continue out night time games nights.


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      jenlemen
November 2007 | jenlemen
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
good for you!  it has been really hard for me to do this--obviously since i didn't start until she was nine!  :)  but i do think they need it.  best of luck!


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ellamia
5.00 (Excellent) | November 2007 | ellamia
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
What a great idea and a good chance to get away. Thanks for sharing this,

Love Kell


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      jenlemen
November 2007 | jenlemen
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
hope you can do it too, someday!


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merlin0903
5.00 (Excellent) | November 2007 | merlin0903
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?

 

thanks for sharing this with us and great ideas for all mums that need to do this

hugs and kisses



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      jenlemen
November 2007 | jenlemen
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
we just got back and had a very sweet time.


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emmysmum
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2007 | emmysmum
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
this is great advice.
I can't wait till my emily and jnr are old enough to go away on mummy and daughter trips!
Cheers


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      jenlemen
November 2007 | jenlemen
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
you're going to love it!  :)


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llmunchkin
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2007 | llmunchkin
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
Hello, well you are the expert on what she likes, as you are her mum... However if you are on an adventure together, I think that she should get to help plan this adventure.  Get a list of activities together, and let her help choose which ones you do.  Food and smells create strong memories too, so go out of your way to eat different foods, and experience different scents than she would in your home town... Like even the stinky subway - just different things.

Maybe you could buy her a little disposable camera so she can create and scrapbook her own special memories of your trip together, and you can see it through her eyes too.

Have a wonderful time, it is a lovely idea - Lui.


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      jenlemen
November 2007 | jenlemen
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
good advice!   since madeleine is such a strong kid with definite opinions about things, i really resisted giving her too much leeway in planning for fear we'd be immediately embattled in conflict!  so instead, i laid out the basic structure and then let her make the decisions about where to eat (sushi for dinner, korean for lunch!) and what our saturday activities would be.  we managed really well together and didn't fight at all--thank god.  but i think in our case that was because she understood from the beginning that i was making a conscious attempt to show her a different part of my world.


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emmie
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2007 | emmie
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?

great article thanks for shaing

emz



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      jenlemen
November 2007 | jenlemen
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
thanks emz!!


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nell18-3
5.00 (Excellent) | October 2007 | nell18-3
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
Wonderful !!!!!!!
What a great relationship you will have with your child if you put the time in now, its great to show them in this way just how important they are to you in this way.
My daughter and I have often done this over the years, thats why we're best friends now, cos she knows that I will always support her choices and she can share and tell me anything
xxx


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      jenlemen
November 2007 | jenlemen
Re: Mother/Daughter Weekend Anyone?
oh helen, i really, really hope that the same will be true for me and madeleine!  we are very different so this trip was one attempt to help us build some common memories together.


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