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When were new mums we all have to help sometimes at times. Most likely its for things were used to do by ourselves, which is hard to admit when things are on top of us. If we aren’t achieving what we set out to accomplish it can really get
on our nerves and this is when we may choose to talk to our Child Health Nurse or call a helpline to even call our mum or friends. But the thing is do we think about asking or talking to our partner about these things.
Asking our other half, husband, partner, boyfriend or whatever he is for help when your relationship has changed a lot. We have to be assertive and not so aggressive. It seems that it’s the little things that drive us nuts especially being stay at home mums caring for a baby. I myself am not the only one crying about wanting someone to just mop the floors or vacuum. There are other mums in the same boat as everyone else with housework left because there isn’t enough time in a day.
If there is something little you would like your partner/husband to do why not ask and don’t bottle it all up. Ask for some help. If your husband leaves his dirty clothes or towel on the floor instead of placing them in the normal place like the laundry or in a basket don’t blame him just approach him and say that your frustrated with the clothes or towel on the floor and he might start changing his actions. Although it isn’t a guarantee, but at least you have that off your mind and said something.
You have to be clear with your partner because small things can sometimes blow out of proportion as he may turn the comment you approach him with as an argument. When really it wasn’t, but he might not see it that way so be sure you are clear about what you are telling him you would like him to do.
Being polite and appreciating him is another must for example being able to comment on the positives and not dwell on the negatives. If he has made efforts to clean up after himself say you saw that he cleaned or picked up his things and put them away and thank him for doing this. This will make him feel important and noticed like any of us would feel if we got told “oh wow you got a new haircut”.
If you choose to do things on your own like cleaning up, doing washing and doing the floors etc. Another thing is to maybe ask him to take the baby, babies or kids out so that you can clean up without interference and you can get a lot more done. The best way to say take the babies out or look after them while you do things is to make him comfortable like get him a beer or a wine and give him say 20 to 30 minutes to himself and then say the baby’s or kids are yours and then they are more obliged to take the babies. Worked a treat for me.
So It is ok to ask for help you don’t need to be afraid to ask. The men can help us after all, we just need the right timing and the right way of saying what we want them to do.
I hope this has helped.
(November 2007) (
