step parents

 My Experience

 I found ex my husban thinking about some of the issues men can find themselves wrestling with in step families. Most me jump into step families with the right intentions and the put the full effort in to make things work. But what i found

For both biological dad and step dads they play the same role and thats the man of the house,  but it was really hard to fill those shoes when the father is only the stepfather. 

I found that i always was the person in the middle and i feel that i was torn between the person that i love at the time and the lovely kids that i have unconditional  love for.

Most people will say its not a hard choice but at the time it seemed to be the hardest decision of my life.

We as women are the primary caregivers for our children and we have to put their best interest first. We are the nurturer in our relationships which could be hard on the men that come into our lives after a seperation. This is also the same when roles are reveresed , when the father is the primary caregiver.

I found if the new comer has to set the boundries otherwise i think you will find that the children will not respect them and listen to reason. This will change on the age of the children and its hard to put in writting how and what age things would change.

 Many dads/ Mums and their new partners expect that the female partner will take over the role of primary caregiver,  Conflict arises if the children miss the interation of natural parents.

The new partner in the relationship has to be strong and understand it will be hard and take alot of things with a grain of salt. This is just my experience and hope i have made some sense there.