ADVICE RATING |
 4.85 (Highly recommend) from 13 votes (137 Visits) |
Speaking from experience, I know how hard it can be to get back your childs confidence once it has been shattered. As painful as it is, the sad truth is that it doesnt take much for a child to lose their little "spark" whether it be from school bullying
to homelife issues.
Growing up, I had a very different upbringing which did consist of witnessing domestic violence, abuse and little homelife security. From a child well into my early twenties i had absolutely no confidence in myself (i couldnt even walk into a shop on my own) and because i never really had any guidance i suppose history kept repeating itself. I met a guy and fell pregnant at a young age. The guy turned out to be an alcoholic and was abusive both verbally and physically which lasted another child and 7 years later when i finally realised that i didnt want my children to always be scared and timid like i was, so i left. As painful as this was for the children to leave their father, now that they are older i realise that it is the best thing i couldve done for them.It took them a little while to adjust. My eldest child would wake with every bump in the night as well as loud voices. It has been 6 years now and she was doing fine until some kids at school decided to focus their comments onto her and it feels like im back where i started 6 years ago.
In my "opinion" school bullying is one of the worst possible ways of messing with a childs head! The worst part is, that as a parent, we have to stop and take a few deep breaths and try to figure out how to deal with this sort of situation in a "grown up" manner.(although i am sure that some of us would like to go to the school and grab this bully by the scruff of the neck!)
Arecent example ; My daughter was recently nominated to become school councillor which she is, or should i say, was, very excited about. Each child which has been nominated gets their picture put on a board so other students can see who they can vote for.My daughter over heard a group of "popular" boys point to her picture and say "who would vote for her?!". Well.................my daughters confidence went to rock bottom, although she tried to tell me that it didnt bother her...mothers intuition
After much thought i sat down with her and we had a very grown up talk.I explained to her that "as we go through life there are going to be people that like us as well as people that dont . There will be some people who say and do things that hurt our feelings. There will be people who agree and disagree with the things that we do, and as much as we'd like to, the way these people feel is beyond our control.The main thing to remember is to always do your best, do as you would be done by and regardless of what other people think, you are who you are and you shouldnt have to change to suit others, and if you overhear someone saying something about you that isnt very nice, look at them and smile and walk away with the knowledge that for every person out there who doesnt like who you are, their are 10 times more people who love and cherish you for just being you"
The advice i am trying to give is to always always praise your child and tell them how proud you are of them for just being them. Explain to them that bullies are everywhere and they only be nasty because they are not very happy themselves so want to make you feel sad as well. Most importantly, let them know that you are there for them no matter what. Its good to sit down with your child and have heart to hearts at least once a week just to let them know that you care. If you have an inkling that something may be bothering your child it also heaps to contact your childs teacher and school principal just to make them aware of how your child is feeling and to keep you updated.
To finish off, here are some basic steps which im sure every parent already knows, but sometimes when our own lives get a little hectic we tend to forget;
*Give praise at the right times
*Let them do some things for themselves
*Show lots of affection
*Remind them of all the positive things they have in their life
(November 2007) (
