ADVICE RATING |
 4.55 (Highly recommend) from 14 votes (93 Visits) |
|
|
Following Footsteps |
 |
by Fairyfloss  (November 2007) (rank 288th) |
|
Re: dont know if im ready for kids
anonymous
Question:
Im 24 years old and have a great fiancee. we want to have a baby, but. The thing that is stopping me is i dont know if i'll make a good mum or not. i
had a pretty hard life and not a very nice family. my dad brought me up from the age of one on his own. my mum wasn't around and she is a mean women. she has had 5 kids including me to 5 different fathers and she treated us all really bad. i tried to get to know her a couple of years ago and i have never meant such a selfish mean person before. I have nothing to do with her.
My father has a really bad mental illness so i had to deal with that growing up and still do.
I guess i'm scared i wont be a good mum because i never had one.
I work in childcare and love kids.
So any advice please...
My Advice:
The legacy our parents leave us can be extremely ingrained..........
This can be in a positive or negative way. What I feel is extremely important is remembering and finding the strength to know we are
our own person and as such we choose to perpetuate the cycles and learned behaviors be it in a positive or negative light.
The fact you are concerned about your own parenting skills is indicative of just what a wonderful parent you will become......
we are not instantly parents, we grow, learn and become parents. Many of us have issues that nip at our heels, chasing us into adult/parent
hood. It is how we deal and move on from them that counts.
Speaking as a survivor of a rough upbringing, I can personally tell you that there are periods throughout my time as a parent where I have
followed in the parenting footsteps of my DNA providers. I have and do castigate myself for doing this, but more importantly I pick myself up, dust myself off and proceed into the realm of RESPONSIBLE parent. This entails taking each nasty piece of dirty linen(horrid experience, hang up) and washing it clean then placing it back into the cupboard of my mind as a fresh new item. Is this an easy thing to do? No and sometimes there are relapses. This can be a time where we feel the need for professional help, cause in hind sight I feel that I personally should of dealt with my hang ups before I had children.......I would've made a much better parent!
I can share another thought with you.....Going through a tough childhood myself has only made me more determined TO be a loving, compassionate parent. I would lay down my life for my child and as such am ever vigilant in creating a new POSITIVE and LOVING set of foot prints for my child to follow in.......
I am positive you will know these answers in your heart, all you need to do is listen and trust in YOU
Best Wishes
Rainbows
Flossy XX
