Re: please give me some advice!
anonymous

Question:

I am going to have a bit of a vent here as I don't want to speak to my family and friends because they always seem to think worse case scenario. I have been married for nearly

2 years and we have a beautiful baby girl who is 9 months. We both love spending time with her and I am loving being a stay at home mum. The problem is my marriage I feel as if it is lifeless. There are not many conversations that do not turn into a heated discussion. We can both see the way that we are talking to each other is not appropriate but we are both so hot headed and stubbon that no one gives in. We haven't had sex for ages which i feel some of my frustration with him is coming through. We have talked about it and he acknowledges that it is him. He says it has nothing to do with me and that it is something he has to deal with. I understand that he has an extremely demanding job and a very tiring one. The other day he read an article in Mens health magazine and it basically said that this phase he is going through is normal (it was as if the article was written for him) I also read it and can see the points made but it still doesn't take away the fact that I am basically craving some 'pleasure' and want to make love with my husband. Have other people been in this situation? I do love him however, I am feeling like the marriage is going nowhere and that sometimes it is better to keep my mouth shut so that the conversation doesn't turn sour. Please give me some advice if you have any. We do have time on our own away from the bub, I have bought the lingerie and that worked the day I got it but how many new things can one person buy LOL! I have tried to be romantic etc

Thanks I really appreciate your advice

My Advice:

Men are usually considered to be the instigators and most needy on the amorous front, or so we thought.........
This seems to be a more common problem these days, well to put in a more accurate light Men and Women seem to be
bringing this issue out in the open more readily.

Unfortunately for all concerned, it is quite different for Men compared to us females. Lets face it if Men cannot stand to attention there aint
no way the parades gonna happen. My advice is quite cliche {sp} GET HELP.........

Counseling may sound corny to some, but believe me it does help. Relationships Australia have just had a lot of funding poured into it's coffers
to try and stem the ever growing tide of divorce and separations(I was told this by my counselor)

Next step is to get Hubby to go to his GP for help(pride needs to take a back seat) in the mean time there are ways and means of him giving you pleasure. Explain to him that the parade can wait, just a few bells and whistles will suffice until the general returns to health.

Parent Hood often plays a big role in the change in dynamics of a relationship, you both just need to help one another  balance and adjust.....There is no room for ME in TEAM.... by both putting the other first it is a win win situation. Most Man troubles(bed room) do stem from stress, perhaps Hubby is feeling the strain of parental responsibility?

Just remember these problems in your marriage need to be addressed, they will not go away. Usually they get worse. I think it is such a positive sign though that you can both talk about your problems. Where there is Love and Communication there is always hope and that silver lining on the cloud is not too far away.

Best of Luck

Flossy X