Self Belief to me is the difference between
being in control of your own thoughts and feelings
or relying on the good or bad things said to you by others
Self Belief is not about Arrogance
It is about confidence in yourself
To have self belief is to be empowered
If I could have a penny for everytime one of my children has been upset by another person, my response to them is not to let the "bully" see they have wounded you because if you do, you are handing them the ability to control you and your moods. Just ignore them and know the truth!!!
My youngest as you already know is an ADHD child, this also means he can have severe mood swings ranging from an hysterical giggle that he cannot stop, feeling of such depression he can't cope, moods where he isolates himself to everything that is going on around him to fierce and sometimes violent rages. Lately the rages are becoming a day to day practice at school as some of the children have learnt over time exactly what buttons to press to trigger these rages and then they can sit back and have their entertainment as he literally "goes off on one"
I always ask him why he lets these children control him. He says he can't help it, I give him visual mind tricks to help him to ignore these instances, I give him mantras to say over to himself and he always leaves the house full of determination that this time he won't allow them to sit off his rage.
Sometimes he comes home happy as he has achieved to do that and he is so proud of himself, other times I get told "Mum you don't understand" I honestly thought I did but now I know I do.
We as adults can be exactly like this too.
Someone can say something to us that sets off into a journey of doubting ourselves and our abilities
it can be a flippant comment, made by a frend, where no real harm was ever meant or intended
It can be a planned attack, that we have come to expect from some, yet still when it happens, we hold onto the pain and allow the wound rather than ignoring it and moving on.
My brother, a man who I seriously misjudged for many years but now hold in very high esteem, told me something today.
I was venting to him about the recent solicitor letters from my childrens father, and my brother said to me that what concerns him is that I am constantly surprised by the antics of their father. My brother thinks I should expect nothing less from him. My brother is a clever and lovely person, he is also completely right!!!!!!!
I keep being set back as I see my childrens father, still try to control me through his actions or his words.
BUT I need to remember that he cannot fight me and win as long as I hold onto my self belief that I am a good person
When our children are being bullied we are the first to reassure them that the person doing the bullying is wrong and cannot get away with it. We also try to get our child to ignore that person, so that they cannot have power over our child.
Lets all take a Lesson in Life that a solid foundation for us all starts when we are young, we as parents should be teaching our child from the beginning to have a strong sense of self belief. We are equipping our children to face the world and part of their armour is the confidence that no matter what kind of spiteful actions or words thrown at us in life, with believing in ourselves the wounds do not penetrate our armour of confidence, they just bounce off.
Dont forget our children learn by watching us, if our children see us upset by things said to us, then no matter what we say to them, our own very actions are damaging any impact our encouragement has.
So lets all parents and children alike, move on with self belief and confidence, then nothing can drag us down
(December 2007) (
