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Attention seeking behaviour

mcm by mcm Young Parent(December 2007) (rank 3rd)
Attention seeking behaviour is very common. Children may display certain forms of behaviour in an attempt to get your attention. This includes eating problems, showing off, constant interruptions, whinging and tantrums. I have seen this in each of my kids when they may be just after my attention. Also they may
try to vy for my attention. The other night I was thinking about this as my big kids kept calling out to me an hour after bedtime. "He is annoying me" "But she is annoying me" I usually ignore it as much as possible and tell them they must ignore each other, not come and see me, just go to sleep! A few nights ago I decided to put my boys in the same room. It seemed to be what the big kids were asking for, time away from each other. My little boy is rapt to have his big brother in bed next to him at night and I hear no more complaints at bedtime. It is working for now.

The forms of attention seeking behaviour as I mentioned above are effective for one main reason. Its annoying! It can be very hard to ignore and most of the time we as parents reinforce the behaviour. That is, it works. The child sees that it works and continue in an effort to get attention. If you can manage to ignore it then it will stop. The behaviour is usually attention seeking because this type of behaviour requires feedback to continue.

Children who use attention seeking behaviour enjoy keeping you busy and occupied. They don't seem to mind if you don't have time to do anything else!

  • Ignore this behaviour as much as you can. (I know much easier said than done)
  • Help the child to feel useful.
  • Provide positive attention.
  • 'Çatch' the child being good.
  • Spend time each day with each of your children.

When I am about to use the phone or do something important during the day, I try to make sure my children are doing something 'important' too. This can help them to not  interrupt me. This one is a big issue at my house. Or even worse tearing the house apart while you can't do much about it.

We all like to feel important to those around us and most of all children want to feel important to their parents primarily, their caregivers and teachers. Try putting yourself in their shoes to understand how they might be feeling. Sometimes when you are at your most stressed, children will play up showing they need your attention.
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EmpoweringParents
September 29th | EmpoweringParents
Re: Attention seeking behaviour

There are many ways that parents can put a lid on attention seeking behavior in children. One thing you can do with your child is develop what’s called a “non-verbal cue.” You can say, “Let’s come up with a sign just between the two of us. If you’re talking too much and not giving other people a chance, I’ll give you a signal and nobody will know but us. When you get that signal, you need to stop talking and listen to other people for awhile.” Don’t be critical of them when you have this conversation. I also recommend that you come up with this sign together—in fact, you can use it as a way to bond with your child. The point is, by coming up with a non-verbal cue, you’re lending your child some of your self-control and some of your internal structure. This can be very helpful for many kids who don’t yet have that in place.



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alicefayee
September 5th | alicefayee
Re: Attention seeking behaviour

I'm trying like the dickens to ignore my baby when she cries for my attention, whenever she's perfectly fine of course..., but with the doubt that she's too young for me to do so... I can't stick to it... I keep giving in! She's 6 1/2 months old and I'm going crazy!



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strybis
May 2008 | strybis
Re: Attention seeking behaviour

unfortunately my little treasure needs to be the centre of attention at school. Also does things that the other kids dare him to do ( eg: lick the toilet room floor). Dont know how I can just ignore that.



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lillkatheryn
February 2008 | lillkatheryn
Re: Attention seeking behaviour

Yeah, my girl to a tee.  But that is why we love them!, lol.  Thanks for the article



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whome
February 2008 | whome
Re: Attention seeking behaviour

great article well done thanks for sharing xxxshar



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pavementcracks70
February 2008 | pavementcracks70
Re: Attention seeking behaviour

well formed article

thanks for the advice

rue



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Jessgore
5.00 (Excellent) | January 2008 | Jessgore
Re: Attention seeking behaviour

The ignoring part is soooo hard... Most of all when you are trying to ignore it and the other half just can't no  matter how you say ignore it.... But I am going to tell him this is what has to be done.. Quietly I think I know this already.. But it is just so hard...

Anyway tomorrow night. ONce in bed story read that is it.. No more, ignore, ignore, ignore.> Any chance you can help convince the hubby too????



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emmysmum
5.00 (Excellent) | December 2007 | emmysmum
Re: Attention seeking behaviour
great advice, thanks for sharing.
Cheers


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Kellzacar
5.00 (Excellent) | December 2007 | Kellzacar
Re: Attention seeking behaviour
Hi honey,

GREAT ADVICE . . . . . . I really enjoyed reading this . . .

Cheers Kellz


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cazza
5.00 (Excellent) | December 2007 | cazza
Re: Attention seeking behaviour
Great advise and we were also taught that some kids need to be told that when mum/dad is busy to use their manners as well, and wait.....

xxx cazza


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