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Attention seeking behaviour |
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by mcm (December 2007) (rank 3rd) |
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Attention seeking behaviour is very common. Children may display certain forms of behaviour in an attempt to get your attention. This includes eating problems, showing off, constant interruptions, whinging and tantrums. I have seen this in each of my kids when they may be just after my attention. Also they may
try to vy for my attention. The other night I was thinking about this as my big kids kept calling out to me an hour after bedtime. "He is annoying me" "But she is annoying me" I usually ignore it as much as possible and tell them they must ignore each other, not come and see me, just go to sleep! A few nights ago I decided to put my boys in the same room. It seemed to be what the big kids were asking for, time away from each other. My little boy is rapt to have his big brother in bed next to him at night and I hear no more complaints at bedtime. It is working for now.
The forms of attention seeking behaviour as I mentioned above are effective for one main reason. Its annoying! It can be very hard to ignore and most of the time we as parents reinforce the behaviour. That is, it works. The child sees that it works and continue in an effort to get attention. If you can manage to ignore it then it will stop. The behaviour is usually attention seeking because this type of behaviour requires feedback to continue.
Children who use attention seeking behaviour enjoy keeping you busy and occupied. They don't seem to mind if you don't have time to do anything else!
- Ignore this behaviour as much as you can. (I know much easier said than done)
- Help the child to feel useful.
- Provide positive attention.
- 'Çatch' the child being good.
- Spend time each day with each of your children.
When I am about to use the phone or do something important during the day, I try to make sure my children are doing something 'important' too. This can help them to not interrupt me. This one is a big issue at my house. Or even worse tearing the house apart while you can't do much about it.
We all like to feel important to those around us and most of all children want to feel important to their parents primarily, their caregivers and teachers. Try putting yourself in their shoes to understand how they might be feeling. Sometimes when you are at your most stressed, children will play up showing they need your attention.