You are a working woman, and on top of your game. You love what you do and, frankly, you are pretty darn good at it. You could be someone with a great income, or someone who dreams for a great income. None-the-less you, my dear, are pregnant and couldn't be 
happier. You work through your 9 months and sooner or later push! push! push! Awwww...and there's that gorgeous little cutiepoo in your arms. You've decided that, as much as you'd like to be at home with your new arrival, you have to get back to work in just a short while. That's when the thought goes through your mind: "Daycare. Before having a baby, it wasn't an issue to ponder about. I'm having my baby and I'll get right back to work. Baby will be just fine. Noo problem." Nooooo problem....ummm....noo problem. No...problem."
No.
Problem.
The Heavens sent something along with your child during delivery, addressed to you: a huge Mary Poppins spoonful of "Mother".
After you've gotten to know your baby, you know... the one you've been watching grow, anticipating, suffering and praying for -- you now have to give your little precious angel to the care of who? WHO? Someone else? Someone who isn't even related to you? Who doesn't even know what your favorite color is? You think, "Ohhhh no way. No way. What do I do? I can't stay home. I have to go back to work...this is my only option."
It's a hard decision to make, and I can imagine what goes through every mother's heart the first week...or two...or three. It's not easier if you are the protective type especially! You think, "no one can love my child like me. What will my child do without me? Will they know how to feed my baby? Will they hold him the way I do so my baby will feel comfortable??"
How do you get through this emotional tug of war? For me, it's three steps:
1) research your butt off (on day care facilities, the requirements by law for your state or country, etc)
2) gather and ask as many questions that your energy can muster (day care centers and other parents with children in day care)
3) if you choose a facility, be constantly proactive, I'd even venture to say annoyingly proactive
proactive? What do I mean?
- review the center, making it clear to the director you know what is required of them by law.
- call director to find out how things are going
- look over your child from head to toe for marks, bruises, everyday (yes...everyday)
- look for signs of a drop in enthusiasm, behavior changes
- Keep a day care diary and write down everything, even if nothing seems different)
- Show up unannounced to the center to see how things are going
Why be annoyingly proactive? Because, in my personal opinion, the day you start to think that there's no need, you may find out a month later that there was a need to stay alert. I wasn't proactive so I am sharing with you why it's important, as parents.
Without getting too detailed in my story, I worked at a daycare center for a month with my daughter being cared for in what they called "the toddlers room". While I worked with older children, my daughter was being cared for by very nice ladies. Their english wasn't so good as they came from other countries, but have been known to be great with children. By the time a month had passed, I had learned, unfortunately, that some of the members had this belief that 'what the parents don't know won't hurt them' (WHAT?!), so they didn't report anything that should have been reported...like a child that had been harrassing my 12 month old baby girl every single day.
Never a word from the caregivers that my baby's hair was being pulled and she would be thrown to the ground by this aggressive child every day. Some mothers would say "that's what children do". Well, when that happens to your child at that age on an everyday basis, you can come talk to me. When did I find out about the harassment? My last day there. What pushed them so far to actually have a conscience to tell me? Because that same child who threw my daughter down finally bit my baby in the face. The bite marks were visible so they HAD to tell me.
Why was it my last day, you ask? My daughter had constipation issues so she needed to have prunes and juice within her stay there, doc's orders. I took for granted the fact that they would listen to the orders and never once checked to make sure they gave her what I purchased. Ask me if they gave any of it to her. Go ahead. Ask... You already know my answer, don't you? Yep. Not one juice bottle, not one prune container. I also noticed everyday how hungry she was when she came home, crying her eyes out and drinking milk like it was the last one on the planet. I started to take bathroom breaks during her lunch time and saw that they expected her to eat by herself, which she couldn't, and when lunch was over they simply threw the plate out. The milk was not given in the bottle I provided that she only drank from (something I specifically told them to give). So she had no lunch and no milk. My poor girl. the daily report always told me how well she ate. I was shocked. I was so upset about that I immediately spoke with the director. My husband was unbelievably upset and wanted me out of there asap. I didn't bat an eye to the decision. I cried all the way home telling my daughter how sorry I was for not realizing that things weren't going how I thought they were. It's a memory I'm putting away for good after this post.
To be fair, that was my own personal experience. It doesn't mean that all places are bad. It doesn't necessarily mean that my daughter's place was bad either. It means that we can't take for granted that day care is day care. There are rules and requirements put by law for every place to abide by. As a new parent, and new employee, I assumed all was okay. We all know what assuming does. My ignorant mind didn't ever think things like that go on. Plus I worked there! I was in the next room.
The good news for you is that it DOESN'T have to go on, as long as you take care to be proactive with your child's care. I failed at that part, but you don't have to. Thankfully I recharged my mind, rolled up my sleeves and did what I needed to do and got my daughter out of there. I spoke with the director and within my time there one member was fired for her lack of care and other suggestions were honored for the future of the children there.
PLEASE NOTE: My message to you is NOT to make you think that day care centers are a bad choice. My message and parental advice is to ask you to be aware of your child's center and stay proactive with the center so they know exactly who they are dealing with if they were to ever fail in their requirements for the wellfare of your beautiful child.
Here's a link that sums up some helpful information if you live in the U.S. http://childcare.about.com/od/daycarequicktips/
If anyone knows of good information for other locations, please feel free to advise. Happy Parenting!!
