Oh that Temper !!!!

How can even the most mild mannered baby

Grow into a toddler capable of the most awful TANTRUMS

Is it really just an inevitable phase they all go through ?

Do we do anything that causes it ?

Can we

Or do we just have to grin and bear it ???

Of my four children the one that had the most frequent and horrific tantrums was my daughter, with her, I found it easier to ignore her during the tantrum, any attention I gave her would just fuel the tantrum and it would go on for even longer. My Mum once told me not to leave her but to reason with her, so next time I let Mum "show me" how to cope with my daughter in a tantrum. Result : My Mum never stepped in again during a tantrum and let me ignore her as her way of reassuring my daughter almost had my mum in tears too !!!! LOL

My youngest had odd tantrums too, but I couldn't afford to ignore him, as he had a tendency to hurt himself in anger. So I had to deal with his tantrums in a slightly different way.

So dealing with a child having a tantrum is down to what works best for you and your child, remembering that if you have older children the way you dealt with the older child does not automatically make if a fail proof way of coping with another childs tantrums. They are all individuals

Sometimes it is effective to treat tantrums in the method of preventing them before they happen rather than treating the tantrum at its peak. For instance if you know your toddler does not enjoy going into their buggy, make their buggy more fun, attach toys to the straps so they cant throw them, play games with the buggy, I used to zig zag my buggy down the path, making it look like the tree was heading for us and swerving away etc. What child wouldn't be bored in their buggy if they are strapped in and ignored, talk to the child in the buggy constantly, point out things to search for and look at. Make the buggy ride interesting !!!!

if you are going to be doing something time consuming that you realise is going to be boring for the child, take distrations like snacks and drinks, don't wait for the tantrum to kick in and then give them a drink, recognise the alarm signals like fidgeting and quickly step in with a new distraction.

During a tantrum, the child is likely to get very hot and bothered and frustrated, instead of getting cross which fuels the tantrum, understand that they are trying to tell you they are frustrated, they don't understand the motivation of the tantrum anymore than we the parents do. Sometimes they even scare themselves during the tantrum. Whether you ignore the tantrum or coax them out of it, remember they are probably scared too of their emotions at this time and you getting angry makes it even more scary and the tantrum rises another level.

Never bribe a child to come out of a tantrum, quite simply using this method is quite simply a way of encouraging more and more tantrums as they soon get the message that a tantrum gets them a treat !!!!!
After a tantrum, your child needs to be loved. They need a hug. As you hug your child use this time to talk to them and help them to understand that the tantrum has got them nothing but  sweaty and frustrated. Talk to them about the pointlessness of the tantrum, in a way that the child understands. But always reassure the child of your love for them

There is no instant cure for tantrums, there is only prevention, taking care how we respond to the tantrum and dealing with the aftermath of the tantrum itself