ADVICE RATING |
    4.89 (Highly recommend) from 39 votes (1239 Visits) |
It seems that society has alot against teen mums these days, and to me, it is saddening to think that teen mums are looked at as though they are "Silly little girls" who couldn't do the right thing and keep their legs crossed.
Alot of todays society also see
teen mums as only having babies "just to get the money". Whilst in some cases it is true, for a lot of teenage mums this isn't the case. In fact, alot of older mothers ( i know of quite a few) are having babies just to get money for drugs etc.
Here is my experience as a teenage mum!
I was 16 when i fell pregnant with my daughter and the baby bonus had been introduced that financial yr - the yr of 2004... at that time the amount was $3000. I was 17 when i gave birth to my daughter and was not aware of the baby bonus until she was born.
I got alot of evil looks and nasty comments like "oh i bet you are looking forward to spending that money", but i just held my head high, because I knew the truth and my family knew the truth, and to me that's all that mattered! The money got put away in a high interest collecting online account and whilst some of it did get spent... it was for things that were essential and not things that were just wants.
I was in a bad relationship where i was forced into having intimate encounters - which for me weren't so intimate as they were forced. The person i was with didn't believe in using protection as he felt it didnt give him decent stimulation....so i ended up falling pregnant.
After the baby was born i decided that it was time to get out of this bad relationship and i did so.... Even though there were going to be hassles, i stood my ground.
Shortly after the seperation, i got a phone call from one of the community midwives here in my home town and she told me about a great program designed especially for young mums who wanted to further their education! I jumped at this chance because i knew it would not only open more doors for me, but it would eventually be able to help me to creat an even more stable life for my daughter. So i enrolled at the dubbo school of distance education as a pathways student under the young mums program and made a promise to emily that i would do my best to get my HSC.
I am still studying at the distance ed and will continue to do so until i get my HSC....even if i have to take the full 5 yrs from the time i complete yr 11 (Which will be this yr).
I don't go out to parties, i don't waste my money on wants and i provide my daughter with one day a week at daycare so that she can gain the knowledge of how to socially interact with other children and do it in a respectful manner. I take my daughter just about everywhere i go, unless of course its to an appt that i feel it inappropriate for her to attend with me or if i go out with a friend while she is in daycare. This means i rarely leave my daughter with anyone which is my grandparents only. She also is provided with a healthy diet and a PERMANENT roof over her head, as the 3000 bonus money ended up being put towards a deposit on the house we live in....along with the tens of thousands of dollars i inherited when i turned 18.
I gave up my life as i chose to have a child at a young age and in doing that, it is my responsibilty to make sure she is well looked after.
Sadly, society doesn't see that any teenage mother is capable of being responsible like i have been and immediately assumes that we are all in it for the money.
What i want to ask each and every one of you is this: Were you a teen mum and if so, do you judge teenagers today who fall pregnant and if so, why?
What teen mums need is support and a helping hand.... not judgment. I have only a few people as support in reality, the rest are my dear minti friends who help me when i feel i can't ask anyone else, even when i don't need help i know that they will always be just a message away!! I don't have either of my parents to support me as they have both passed away. Alot of teen mums have zero support because everyone including parents, turn their backs when they are told "I AM PREGNANT".
So please, find it in your heart to not be judgmental - but supportive instead.