Our children are born as a clean canvas; we give them the materials and guidance to paint their own future.  While they are born with their own genetic coding for personality traits, it is up to their parents to help them reach their full potential. Our

children are a reflection of ourselves; we are our children’s first and most influential role models.  It is a big responsibility; take the time to think hard about what image of yourself you are projecting on to your child.  Ask yourself these simple questions:

(a)   What sort of person do I want my child to grow up to be?

(b)   Am I being a good example or role model of that type of person?

Many parents inadvertently transfer their fears to their children, it is a very common mistake. Our children believe that they are, and that they will be, anything we tell them; this includes things that they may fear.  Although a lot of the personality traits that you and your partner have will be inherited by your child, you can still shape your child’s response to different situations.  Your child will be closely observing your reaction to the events that happen in our lives every day.  Your ability to deal with situations that may incite fear or anxiety, will be mirrored by your child.

Fear of spiders, snakes and dogs are very common and understandably so.  However, a lot of these creatures are not dangerous, and some of them are down right useful to have around.  If you are afraid of them; do you remember when/how you became afraid of them?  Do you wish you weren’t?  Does it benefit you in anyway?  Is your fear, though real, reasonable?  Do you really want your children to be afraid of them too?  Would it be better to teach respect and awe of creatures that may be dangerous, instead of fear?

As a parent, you need to decide how you would prefer them to respond, then coach your children to do so without hesitation.  I believe that the one thing we all have in common as parents, is the desire to prepare our children with all of the basic skills they need to be successful in their own way, in the world. If you don’t want your children to be a carbon copy of your current self, you may need to take action and make some changes to your own behaviour.

Knowledge is empowering, so take the time to learn all about the things you are afraid of.  Find out what precautions you can take to be as safe as possible in regard to your fears. If you can't conquer your fears, at least you may be able to discuss them with your child in a reasonable manner, and teach them the correct way to deal with situations that may occur.  Discuss a strategy with your partner to help you shape your child’s reactions in the future, so that he or she can respond appropriately.

Children will go through different ages and stages of being afraid of things, and some will be more susceptible because they are predisposed to be more sensitive etc.  If we can teach them to be confident; proactive; solution orientated babies and toddlers, we can give them a good base from which to conquer new obstacles as children, teens, and adults.  It is never too early, (or late), to start learning how to respond positively to life instead of reacting negatively.  Even if you are pregnant, start thinking about it now, all successful endeavours require some planning, and preparation.

Luisa Foliaki - Mother of MicroMe