ADVICE RATING |
 4.52 (Highly recommend) from 14 votes (282 Visits) |
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Parental Balance |
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by tracey  (August 2006) (rank 11th) |
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Parenting is tough work. We all know that. The trick is how to manage the job of raising our children, being our best selves. That can’t always be the case but we’ve all had moments when we’ve recognized that we’re doing a pretty good job as
parents. For me the key has been to acknowledge what I’m good at and sticking to it. My parenting strengths lie in a number of things but certainly not everything. What I’ve noticed over the years is that in the ways that I feel deficient, my husband fills in the gaps. In our marriage, we have come to see those things for what they are and are constantly trying to better work together using our strengths and weaknesses in a balanced system. Not flawless, just balanced. And I’m not just talking deep issues here. This goes for things like who doesn’t mind cooking vs. who doesn’t mind doing the laundry. It may sound like simple, silly stuff but it’s important when it comes to running a household. The same goes for us as parents. With our children we both have our strong points. We each have parenting duties we’re good at, things we enjoy doing with our kids. Sometimes these things overlap and we can all enjoy being together. But that can’t happen all the time. For instance when it comes to playtime, there are certain activities he really enjoys, like wrestling with the kids in the living room and playing baseball with them in the backyard. Those are “his things”. While some of “my things” consist of doing arts and crafts projects and playing at the park.
As the years go on and the kids grow and change, and need more stimulus than they did as babies, I am learning to embrace our chosen mother/father roles even more affectionately. As I write this, my girls and their Dad are taking in a movie at a local theater. It’s one of “their things. I haven’t ever gone to a movie with them. They have a special routine; a ritual that they enjoy and I have never been a part of it. Just as my husband rarely goes with us to the ice cream shop on summer evenings, it’s “our time” as we find our bench and enjoy each other’s company, watching the world go by. I can remember the things I did as a child that were unique to my relationship with mother and they were completely different than the things I did with my father. I cherished them equally. Allowing our children to enjoy memorable moments with other loved ones (parent or otherwise) besides ourselves is a gift we are giving them. We are affording them experiences that will enrich their lives. And they aren’t the only ones who benefit. When we give ourselves time and space to breath, without our children, time to regroup, we can return to the challenges of parenting better people. I think in cases like that everyone wins.
