I just found out my teen is pregnant... What should I do?

I should add that while the majority of my family was supporting me with my pregnancy, there was one person who didn't... my step mum.  We have always had a great relationship, until I found out i was pregnant.  Not long after i found out, my boyfriend and I moved to where her and my dad live.  My dad was great, helping us when we needed it and just being there for us.  She on the other hand wanted nothing to do with me.  She didnt speak to me.  I'd say hello to her in the morning and all i'd get in reply was a grunt or silence.  When i had my ultrasound and found out i was having a girl, my dad and the rest of my family were over the moon- even the neighbours were happy and wanted to know how everything was.  We told her and she just went 'oh, thats nice'.  She never once asked how I was feeling, never once asked how the baby was.  And one night I found out a friend was pregnant as well... i told her and she screamed at me 'I dont approve of an 18 year old having a baby, let alone a 16 year old!!''  It made me feel terrible, like i had done something bad.  Even tho I had so many people supporting, having this one person who I looked up to so much so openly put me and my choices down made me feel the size of ant.  It was horrible.  I cried for days because of it.  So please even if you are a step parent, it doesnt matter... be there and support ur kids choices....

I was a teen mum and my mum was a teen mum.... my family always knew that I would have a baby in my teens.  But that still didnt help the shock when I told them I was expecting my first baby (or my second for that matter).  The advise I would give to any parent who's teen comes to them says 'i'm pregnant' or 'my girlfriend is pregnant' is be there for them!!!  it is their lives and yes, they will make mistakes but no body is the perfect parent and if they didnt think they could handle the consequences, they wouldn't have had unprotected sex!! 

Parents, listen to your kids... they know what they want.  If you push them away or push them to do something they don't want to do (like abortion or adoption), you will lose them forever!!  Being pregnant at any age is scary... but imagine how scary it is for someone who hasn't finished school... who has all that bullying and horrible comments about them on a daily basis... imagine having everyone- even complete stranger- feel its ok to judge your every move as a parent just becuase of your age.  Teen parents need support... and they need it from the most important people they have... their parents.

This is excellent advice! I love it all.  I have noticed that in general the parents that dont accept their daughters are part of the reason they got pregnant in the first place. They looked for unconditional love with someone else. My parents surprised me with how accepting they were of my pregnancy and my fiance and that made me so happy!

Great advice Mony! I wish all parents coulod read this.

my mum said to me that if it was her she would have aborted when i was preggers with logan but she got over it, she is the best oma ever now hehehe! ::)'s mony great article.

Hi there Mony ,I am going to be a step G ma in the next month,my step daughter was 17 when she fell pregnant and is now 18 ,she lives 4 hrs away from us  with her bf , we have been there for support emotionally ,just wish there was more we can do for her ,as we feel she really has no idea how her life is going to change.Wish she would just move in with us for a while as her bf is not a great support either.Thank-you sharing this advice with us.

                                                                       Cham

it is so important that you shared how you and your mom became closer.  That's what teenagers need to hear.  And to have that hope. 

Hi honey,

This is GREAT . . Sadly I see many teenage girls that have been abandoned by their parents because they are pregnant. . . These young girls are terrified and really need that extra bit of TLC . . . . I know if my teen was to tell me, I'd be shocked yes BUT I'd never reject her for it . . . To be honest I don't understand any parent who could reject their child . . .

Cheers Kellz

I'm with you on this advice....i think learning your pregnant for the first time at any age is daunting but with the love & support from your mum....makes that journey so much less frightening.

Cheers Janice

i totally understand how you feel, i got pregnant at 18 and i thought that when my family found out about alisha, they would go crazy.. but they didn't...

my brother (who is two years older than me) welcomed me with open arms, along with his girlfriend as well.. and as a result, they are two of my closest friends today... they constantly buy alisha things, drop by just for a visit, buy us groceries randomly... they've just been great...

i guess my point is, without all that support, i don't know what i would've done... because like you said, my fiance and i would not have created alisha unless we loved eachother... so the fact that i was 18 and not yet married wasn't an issue to me... you'd be surprised because me and lawrence wanted kids after 1 month of dating !

i love alisha so much and i don't think i could ever imagine yelling at her for getting pregnant or calling her stupid or anything like that.. because at the end of the day, she's my daughter and although we all make mistakes, it doesn't mean that her accidental pregnancy isn't a blessing in disguise... maybe it'll teach her the value of life and family, just as it did me :)

thank you for the article, i enjoyed reading your work !! xox

my in laws took me under their wing when we found out we were having Alex, but my mum wanted and pushed for an abortion. i have always had a bad realationship with my mum. And i am so glad i didnt let her win cause i have a wonderful hubby and a beautiful boy who is a pain in the bum at times but i cant imagne my life without him.

great advice M

Thank you for sharing your own experience of being a teen mum and the advice you give parents of a to be teen mum is great and so insightful especially the inclusion of the babys father, your children are extremely lucky to have a mum that can view situations from both prospectives, please keep writing advice like this.

yayyyyyyyyy we out of the sin Bin lol.. and great advice for the parents with teens..

xxxx cazza

Totally agree with you Mony

xxx