My Advice on Discipline and Children

I have recently witnessed on minti on how we are all so diffrent on discipline our children, and how confusing the law is making us doubt on whats safe and not so safe on how we discipline our children in todays society... Below i am going to suggest some ways we can over come this, and please they are only suggestions and we all deal with our own children and thats our buisness and i understand that....Think about it... being a parent is the most important role we can ever have. Our children learn by watching us on what we say and do. Every waking moment we are their role models..

What our children learn from us especially in the first few years makes a huge impact on their lives, and it effects how they interact with other children and how they get on well with their peers when older.

So how can we get our children to behave well-most of the time.

1. Remember we are their models-Try to behave to your child and to others as you would like your child to behave... This works more so when they become older, as babies they wouldnt really understand.

2.Your child will copy you- and it takes time and practice to get them to know whats acceptable and whats not acceptable.

3. It is so easily as parents for us to see the bad behaviour not the good behaviour-upset children want to be noticed.

4.Learn to look for good behaviour and let your children know how pleased you are on how they are behaving.

These days we are so busy , but if we just take time out and have some fun, and recognise what your childs needs are.

Also back in our day when we misbehaved our parents didnt hesitate on smacking us, and we all say it didnt hurt us any, but research has shown that in some children that were hit have shown the following intended consequences.

1.If feeling mad- they lash out and hit other children, and feel thats the way to sort it out when feeling angry, we as parents need to teach our children that it is wrong to hit or hurt someone...

2.Some children feel that if mum/dad have hurt them-thats a sign of love and dont understand that cuddles and kisses are the signs of affection.

How can we displine our children-without having to resort to smacking.

1.We can bring our children up to know right from wrong-and how to be well behaved without having to smack them.

2.We need to recognise the diffrent behaviours and respond diffrent to each one of them.

3. Our children need to understand the dangers on what to go near and not not to go near, also what to touch and not to touch- firm no and removing them will help them understand this.When they are throwing tantrums it means they dont understand and think they know better then us..

4,Our children wont hear what we say-but they hear how our tone of voice changes when they are getting into trouble.

5.Bigger children need to be helped to see how things they do affect others.. and we need to guide them and help them understand how to behave.

6. As they reach teenage years it can be quite frightening, and they will try and push the limits, but if they are told what the consequences are when they dont do as you ask. They still need limits and clear consequences, try negoiate and have a agreement in place.

Time-out- gives everyone the chance to have some space,calm down, and think things through. So when using this explain to your child why this method is used and dont allow it to drag out too long, as they forget why they have being put there.

Times like this we need to stick to our warnings and choose one you feel comfortable with for example, if your child is fighting in the car with their sibling, stop the car and explain that its not safe for you to drive while he/she are fighting.. so until they settle down, we cant go to where we going.

So.

       The most important thing to remember is to set boundaries and routines will help our children and the way they     behave. and set diffrent ones for individual ages.

Help your child to know that violence isnt the key to solve the issues we come across in life.

Let them know how pleased you are on how they behave and give them rewards when they achieve.

The most important thing to know is parenting isnt easy at times, so make sure you take time out for your self, and look out for number 1-thats you...

If you feel that parenting is getting to you, and you need to speak to someone, seek help from your local GP,Clinic Sister, or your local community centre

xxx cazza