Parenting along with all its pleasures
Also bring with it, its own fair share of battles
Some of the time during these battles there will be no winner !
Some of the times we can’t even remember what the battle was about !
Most of the time the battle could have been prevented !
When we battle with our babies we call them “Unsettled”
We finally get home with our brand new baby, we are thrilled that this little bundle of cuteness is making our life complete. Then it happens, they cry !!!!! and sometimes they just don’t stop crying !!!!!!
As a parent most of us will all know about the times when we are pacing the floors at all hours with our new baby screaming at the top of their lungs, letting us know they are not happy !!!! We have tried feeding, changing, burping, rocking, singing.......... but it just doesn’t stop. There are times when we will never find out why they are still crying, we can feel all our frustrations bubbling up and ready to spill
What can we do ? In my opinion we have only a few options, we can either continue pacing and hoping that they will eventually tire themselves out in the meantime getting ourselves increasingly closer to snapping or we take a time out !!!!! If there is another adult in the house, it is wise to let them have a go at walking the baby while you take a moment to get a deep breath and re group or if you know there is no reason your baby is crying you can lie them in their crib for a few minutes and re group.
Sometimes by the time you are ready to try again they may already have fallen asleep or at the very least the time out has given you the boost you need to be able to deal with a crying baby better.
When we battle with our toddlers we call them “Tantrums”
Tantrums are one of those times in our childs milestones, that are pretty inevitable to all, however some tantrums are a lot less severe as others. Even in siblings they are all different. My daughter was the Queen of Tantrums. The only way I coped with her tantrums was to ignore them, the few times I ever gave her tantrums any attention, they would last a lot longer and make me feel very inadequate as a Mother.
By ignoring my daughters tantrums, she quickly realised that the objective she was hoping for, was not going to happen, I was not coming to her and so there was little point in the tantrum. My boys did have tantrums but as stubborn as boys can sometimes be, they also quickly outgrew the tantrum stage when they realised it wasn’t working.
When we battle with our teens we call them “Hormones !!”
The best way of coping with Battles with our teens, is to pick your battles and if you can’t pick the battles then pick the moment you do your battle.
Teens do battle because they want to vent, they are entitled to vent their feelings but we are also entitled to be treated with respect. No matter what they think we are not the cause of their problems, the decisions they make are the cause of most of their conflicts. Or at least the decisions they would like to make !!!!
I would always try to not do battle with my teen whilst we were both angry. If it looked like something was going to flare up, I would suggest we both take time to think before we discuss the issue. I also found a great way of getting my point heard would be to write my thoughts down and get them to read them through in private, then get back to me.
I have before also left the house with my teen’s abuse ringing in my ears and not come back until I know I can stay calm, by the time I return, the teen would also have become calm enough to discuss things rationally.
Battles with your children are inevitable, but the outcomes can be so different if you remain to be the one in control.
(March 2008) (
