ADVICE RATING |
  2.83 (Worth a try) from 6 votes (70 Visits) |
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Seeing Grandparents too much.... |
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by loopylisa  (March 2008) (rank 252nd) |
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I have just read a question from a minti member regarding visitation to the 'in-laws' 3 or more times a week and the affect it has on her daughter.I have a niece who is now 14 years old. When she was 3 months old my sister returned to work and
left my niece with my mum. My sister also lived with my mum and dad at the time too. When she was teething my dad saw to her not my sister. From her being a 'tot' my mum and dad have done more than their fair share. They have had her stay over at their house 4 nights a week from the age of 18 months_when my sister left home. They have some of their meals there and my mum buys nearly all of my nieces clothes. This arrangement to me is wrong. My mum thinks that my niece is 'perfect'. Well behaved etc. My mother is disallusioned she is very cheeky,obnoxious,rude and lazy. Yes she is a teenager and is full of hormones but now, when my sister tries to lay the law down and discipline her it's 'Oh shes alright leave her alone.' A few weeks ago my niece was at my mums and my mum told her off for hurting her dog. My mum went upstairs and when she came back down she had gone. Police were involved-she had taken money out of my mums purse and got a train to a city 50 miles away. Yes she got into trouble and was told that she couldn't sleep anymore etc and guess what she slept the next night and my mum said,'Well I upset her when I told her off and thats why she ran off!'
The situation that started out as my mum looking after my niece while my sister works. It has turned out my mum has practically brought her up. My sister and my niece have a really bad relationship and they can hardly speak a civil word to each other. My niece has had 2 mums and it has affected her greatly, when I try and help I am told it's none of my business.
So,my advice to anyone out there who has there parents or in laws playing such a big part in your childs life-BE VERY CAREFUL. You don't know what lies in the future,how would you feel in 10 or so years time and you can,t interact or have a decent conversation with your child because that 'bond' has been replaced by a grandparent.
I spent a lot of my childhood with my grandparents when I was a child and I loved them dearly, but they never took over that parental role which is so important.
