How Early Does Communication Begin?
Prior to birth for some babies, and definitely from being born, a baby’s parents are the most influential role models and they learn the art of effective communication from you. If you are currently pregnant and your baby is
moving, it has no doubt been reacting to different noises, light, positions that your body is in, and food that you have eaten while in the womb. Look for patterns in this behaviour, and learn to enjoy it – or like me, you can almost learn to tell the time by it if your baby has a predictable routine.
We played games with our baby before he was born with a torch and he kicked at the light on my tummy. He also liked his back and bottom gently massaged and wriggled happily. He did somersaults in response to loud engines. After 21 months in the world – he still likes these things.
How Do I Communicate With My Baby?
It is fairly common knowledge that you should talk to your baby, sing to your baby and read to your baby from birth, (if you haven’t begun while it is in the womb). In Australia most babies in areas that have the facilities, are tested for hearing within the first 24hrs of birth - even if your baby does have a hearing problem, some of this advice may still be of interest to you. This is the beginning of your child’s understanding of language, and it begins to realise that the words you say have meanings. At the same time, you are probably realising that the different cries your baby makes have different meanings. There were four main reasons that our baby cried in the first 9 months or so, and they were all easy to fix:
- Hunger – quite a persistent cry, and justly so when your baby is hungry or thirsty.
- Discomfort – your baby needs a nappy change, is hot or cold, or may need to be placed in a different position if very young.
- Nurturing – your baby wants to be picked up, held and cuddled, of if you are busy, keep your baby near you and sing or talk to him or her.
- Tired – that grizzly half hearted cry indicating that sleep is the only option, as nothing else will recharge those baby batteries.
Once you have established these cries and their meanings, it is pretty simple to sooth your baby and attend to his or her needs. It will be easier for you to differentiate between normal cries and the distressed cries of a sick or teething baby and treat the baby accordingly.
Take the time to learn which cries mean what; knowledge makes you both feel a lot more confident. You will feel confident that you can take the appropriate action to attend to your baby’s cries, and your baby will feel confident that your action in response to his or hers cries is going to make everything better. You are having effective communication with each other, and this is rewarding to both of you!
When Will My Baby/Child Begin To Talk?
This is a very common question, and of course the answer is different for every child, as with all things, they speak at their own pace. Some children are destined to talk early, as it is in their nature, and within their ability to do so at an early age. Many other children who are encouraged just as much, and are very capable in many other ways, chose not to talk verbally until well after they are 2 years old. Always talk to your baby and tell them what you are doing, how, and why. Think of yourself as a television commentator and describe your actions in a fun way as you do them. If you are cooking, put bubs in view, or get an older toddler or child to ‘help’. Run your own cooking show with your avid audience, talk about the food, what it tastes like, why it is good for you have fun with it. When you go for a walk, name everything you see, talk about colours, noises, look for animals, and make each outing a discovery adventure. Have fun, see the world through their eyes, and talk it up big time, say hello to people you pass, wave and take the time to chat to other people.
For the record, we have a 21 month old chatter box, who verbally speaks in small sentences and has a substantial vocabulary that grows daily. However it is his skills of comprehension, I am most impressed by the many other ways in which he communicates – body language, actions, copying, acting out etc. Even if he had a limited vocabulary, at this stage, I wouldn’t worry, as he is quite capable of clearly communicating his needs and feelings in different ways.
My Baby/Toddler/Child Get’s Frustrated Because They Can’t Talk
Well, at a young age, babies can’t ‘talk’, however they can curl their fingers, so they can do a very basic sign – milk. Basically for a young baby of 6mths, or even younger – this remedies about a quarter of the reasons your baby would cry in a day. You just brought yourself some silent happy time, and your baby has communicated to you in a meaningful way, and a whole new world of fun is opening up. We started with milk, eat, and birds, as these were of most interest to our son. For those with frustrated toddlers who don’t talk much – teach them to sign their needs and wants to you. It is easy, and they will enjoy it if you treat it like a game, with the ultimate reward being that you understand each other. Even older children who can speak; get silent and grizzly when they are over-tired. It can be a guessing game trying to sooth their tears and the erratic behaviour when exhausted. Again, this is a good time for them to fall back on signing to you so you can help them to settle and calm down.
Our little man often loses it just before bed time; however you can see he wants something… Often he refuses to speak – yet with encouragement, he will sign that he wants a bottle or a certain toy – even if he has said no when you originally asked him.
How Will I Teach My Child To Communicate By Signing?
In general, we use many signs when we talk anyway – especially those who are very animated with their hands, so your baby, toddler or child is already familiar with communicating by hand. You can base your signs on these, invent them as you go, or look up the sign language for your local country online, or the Deaf Association appropriate to your area. Alternately, you can attend classes or purchase a specialised baby signing kit – that will most likely be based on the sign language used in your country – I have added links below to some sites as examples. We purchased a kit; it contains flash cards, a booklet and a DVD, I haven’t really used it much, though it is a good way to start. I learned most of what we use when I baby sat for a little deaf girl for a few years - being deaf, she was easily frustrated until she learned to sign. We have a very happy relaxed toddler who has no problem communicating his needs to us; as a result, toddler tantrums are extremely rare in our home, (so far). If you always speak and emphasize the word you are signing, and when your child is comfortable saying the word, they will stop signing it and say it instead.
One funny note about the signing… When our son was 18 months old, he was entertaining two young ladies, who were 5 months and 6 months old. He used more sign language with them than he ever did normally – I guess he thinks it is how babies talk.
How Is Your Child Progressing?
Try not to compare your child to other children you know, or what the latest book or article says they should be doing. If you have a genuine worry – seek medical advice, and find out where you really stand. In the meantime, give your child the encouragement, and the tools to communicate to the best of their own ability. Don’t underestimate how much they can comprehend, even if they can’t express themselves freely yet. As parents, you are their greatest role model in all aspects of communication and interaction with others. Be aware and diligent at all times, as you are being watched closely by your children. Being able to communicate confidently and effectively opens up a world of infinite possibilities, I hope that this can help someone who is concerned about their baby, toddler or child.
Luisa Foliaki - Mother of MicroMe
