Having endured a long labor and perhaps a difficult delivery, maybe even a c-section you will feel totally exhausted. You will most likely feel an uncontrollable urge to close your eyes and sleep. If you’re lucky, you may get a few hours sleep and perhaps even start to feel
a little 'normal' again. Some mother's experience a feeling of euphoria, particularly new mothers, however, as many as 80% of new mothers experience a case of the baby blues. In some cases this can last for several weeks.
Baby blues is not something that a new mother can control. The first thing to remember is that no one is to blame. It is not baby's fault. It is not dad's fault (well perhaps not) and it is certainly not mum's fault. The most experienced and committed mothers can get the baby blues. In fact just because you have never had the baby blues before does not guarantee you wont get them this time.
What Exactly Are The Baby Blues
The birth of your baby has started a rapid change in your body and in your life. Your emotions now have to learn how to deal with these changes. There are dramatic hormonal changes, milk will start to flow in your breasts, and your womb will start the contracting stage in an attempt to return to its normal state. You now have to adapt to not having a large stomach. Not only that, a part of you has gone. What was once a living thing moving, kicking and perhaps even hiccuping inside you has now gone. Instead, you have this little bundle of joy that only communicates by crying, even at 4am in the morning.
Is it any wonder with all these changes that, at times, you are going to feel a little down? You're not the first or last mother to experience this. The emotional letdown you experience during the first few weeks is common after birth. Just remember that your emotional state has a physical origin and is made worse by the challenging circumstances that you and your body have to adjust to.
What Are The Symptoms
Every woman who experiences the baby blues does so in a different way. The most common symptoms include:
- Anxiety and feeling nervous
- Sadness and feelings of loss
- Stress and tension
- Impatience and/or a short temper
- Bouts of crying or tearfulness
- Mood swings
- Difficulty concentrating
- Trouble sleeping or excessive tiredness
- Feeling lethargic - not able to do normal household duties
What Should I Do
If you experience any of these symptoms then your first call should be the doctor. Baby blues (also known as post partum blues) is a common problem and your doctor will be quite familiar with the problem. He will also be able to assess whether or not it is just baby blues or the more serious post partum depression. Post Partum Depression is a serious problem and requires very close medical attention.
How Can I Get Rid Of The Baby Blues
If you have been to the doctor and Post Partum Depression is not the issue and it is just a case of baby blues then there is a lot that you can do.
The first and most important thing that you can do is simply to accept that you have the baby blues. Follow this closely by understanding that time is your friend. Give yourself time.
The third most important thing to do is to stay as objective as you can. Remember what you have been through and what you have accomplished. You have created a new person inside your own body and brought them into the world. You deserve a break and some time and space in which to just exist with your new arrival.
You should also just talk. Talk to your partner. Talk to other mothers. Talk to friends. Talk to anyone who will listen. Join a parents group. The old saying that a 'problem shared is a problem halved' is so true when it comes to the baby blues so don't be afraid to share your feelings.
Get out, go on, go. yes, get out of the house. There is nothing worse than four walls when you are feeling down. Dress yourself and baby in your finest and go on parade. If there is one thing that will cheer you up it is going to be the attention that most new mothers receive when they go out. Every grandma in the shopping center is going stop and goo and gaa at the baby - every grandpa may stop and goo and gaa at you as well. A little retail therapy often goes a long way, besides, now you are getting your figure back you need some new clothes.
Dad. Yes dad. Get him to read this article. Dad's need to understand baby blues more than anyone else. They need to understand that you will be tired, moody, and feeling a little lethargic. It is dad's job to care for you for a little while. He needs to push you out of the house. If baby is asleep then let dad take watch while you grab a nap or go for a walk. If breast feeding, try to express and get dad to take the 4am feed every now and then. Share the load. Parenting is a two person job so make sure dad does his part. When it comes to sex, leave mum be - after all, that's what started this situation in the first place - let mum recover a little.
Finally, learn to take care of yourself. Get as much sleep as you can when you can. Eat well - make sure you eat as healthily as you can. Exercise - a little exercise goes a long way, even if it is a walk pushing the pram, just make sure it is regular. Don't fret about the housework. Do what you can when you can. Call others to help, particularly dad. If friends or relatives call in to help, let them. They actually want to feel a part of the new arrival so don't rob them of that experience - so long as they don't take over and leave you feeling worse.
You have just gone through an amazing experience - one that many men feel in awe of and yes - sometimes we are a little jealous. Be proud of what you've accomplished. Sit back and take comfort in what you have created - this new person that has entered the world. Look in the mirror and learn to love what you have accomplished - learn to love yourself. Within a week or two you will look back on the baby blues and wonder what the fuss was all about. Right now, the baby blues are real - they won’t last forever.
for more parenting articles visit my site at Just 4 Families
(March 2008) (
