coping with the news your child has a disability.

Thanks for sharing this

its great to know others out there have similar problems

I understand the pain you are going through.  My son was diagnosed with autism as well nearly 4 years ago now.  We have come a long way and for all parents out there who are all new to this and feel lost there is hope, things do imrove with the right help there is a happy future to look forward too..

Great article Liz...........it can't be easy on any parent hearing those words.

Thanks for sharing your story......I know it will help other parents out there.

Amanda xxx

Hi Liz,

Thanks for sharing your story with us . . Learning that your child has an illness or disability is certainly a life changing event that effects all people differently. By sharing what you know you are helping so many other people . .   WELL DONE

Cheers Kellz

This is great advice Liz and will help parents out there, that are in the same boat as yourself....thanks for sharing.

I think any parent  in this position, needs all the support systems they can get....either with Minti groups, friends, the Autism Foundation, counseling & schools.

Love your last sentence & i think your one loving Mum

Cheers Janice

Liz you were relatively young when you had your baby and you have learned a lot in the past several years. 

"There is a defect," is what the OB-GYN doctor said seconds after saying "It's a girl," after my daughter was born.  So the news came quickly to us vs. hearing about her disability when she was 2 years old.  Either way, the news is a heavy thing to deal with.  Even so, our daughter was our cute little baby with or without her disability.

Some advice is:

1) To parents of a child with a disability is to make the following statement that you made, Liz, your mission statement: "All children need unconditional love to help them grow and be the best they can be."  This carries you through the day and night and connects you to the child and your spouse, keeps you focused on helping him or her, and demonstrates to others, such as their siblings, the right way to approach the child and behave.

2) Don't blame.  Convert this energy into actions and results that help the child and your family.

3) I agree with your practical advice to seek out others in a similar situation, and keep searching even after you have found a few other parents.  You need to have a wide perspective and lots of input.  The risk of having only one or a few other parents for sounding boards, etc. is that you might get swayed by someone who is too pessimistic or does not support their child's complete health, or you might get overwhelmed and feel insufficient vs. a parent that is superman or superwoman when if comes to parenting.

4) Seek information and ask, What does this mean to me and my child?  Does it apply? Ask the experts, and use your own judgement. Your child may not be a textbook case, for example, so learn to read them and make your best judgement with your doctor, teacher, spouse.  The experts help usually, but sometimes they get caught up in fads that do not necessarily apply.  Ask a lot of questions.  Read, not just the internet, but magazine, journals, books.  Work with doctors to review your child's medical history and what it means.