Refuges, what can they offer?

For me, the hardest part was actually deciding to go. Once I got there, this is what I found:

Warm and caring staff. They know exactly what you have been through as many have also had the same experience of domestic violence. That’s what gave them the idea to help others. It made it very easy to talk about what had happened. They will help you with the police, finding housing, childcare and school, getting your belongings from where you lived and anything you need. Someone is there for you 24/7.

Other mums who are going through the same thing. Within a week, I had made a few friends that understood what I was going through and we were able to support each other when anyone was having a bad day. Knowing they where there for me was very encouraging. Sometimes just a coffee and a chat did wonders.

Counselling for the kids. This is a vital service for obvious reasons. My daughter got so much out of art therapy. A lot of children had nightmares and were very insecure. At the end of my stay, these same kids were happy and confident and well on their way to recovery. It was very heart warming to see the difference it had made in their lives.

Counselling for mum. Without this, many have returned to their old lives. Heartbreaking stuff. I would have to write a book to describe all the positives it gave me. I was no longer the person who first walked in those doors. I had become the old me from before it all started and the new me who could like myself again and had enough confidence to get on with my life. Learning to relax, life was now something positive.

Activities for you and the kids. Outings were arranged for every second weekend.
This meant the opportunity to do many things that some of us hadn’t done in years. Swimming, going to the movies, bushwalking, you name it. It meant readjusting to normal life. At the refuge, there was beading, craft for the kids and a library to use at any time. There was even a schoolroom with computers for the kids to do their homework. Children of school age were taken and picked up for you, to give you a break.

There were a few rules of course, I was in the biggest refuge in Australia. We had to be back by a certain time of night and had to let someone know where we were. These were for our own safety. Security was 24/7 with a place like that. I lived with 22 mums and their kids for 4 months. It turned out to be one of the best things I ever did for my children and myself.

Please, if you know anyone in a violent situation, let her or him know that refuges aren’t a bad place to go. In fact, it will help to change their lives and the lives of their children, for the better.

 
A few important phone numbers: (Australia only)
Police  - Phone 000

Domestic Violence Line: 1800 65 64 63
                                           TTY: 1800 67 14 42

Domestic Violence Advocacy Service: 1800 810 784
                                                                Or (02) 9637 3741
                                                                 TTY: 1800 626 267
Women’s Legal Resource Line
(Indigenous Women’s Legal Contact Line): 1800 639 784
                                                                           TTY: 1800 674 333

Immigrant Women’s Speakout: (02) 9635 8022

Women’s Information & Referral Service: 1800 817 227
                                                                          TTY: 1800 673 304

There are also help available through Community Health Centres and local Family Support Centres.