It's a fact of life, toddlers will misbehave. It goes with the territory. The question is, are they being mischievous or are they being willful? As a parent of the hardest things to cope with is not the behavior so much as the unpredictability.

Some days it seems like

they are perfect angels and then snap, they go off the deep end. Other days they start and finish in the same state, either non stop mischief or a perfect angels.

Young children have one major problem when it comes to punishment and that is connecting their actions with the ramifications, particularly if those ramifications come some time after the event. If there is this disconnection, how do you as a parent deal with bad behavior in a toddler?

There are two issues to look at with this problem. The first relates to punishment (aka discipline) and the second relates to changing behavior.

Punishment: - in young children, punishment can be a double edged sword and is currently a hotly disputed area. Does a short swift slap on the wrist teach a toddler anything.

Many believe that a smacking is child abuse - others feel that smacking is an act that is effective in controlling behavior.

Without going into the rights or wrongs of the issue, it should be noted that discipline in any form will only be effective when the toddler's misbehavior is willful. Determining willful acts can often be difficult for parents and is certainly difficult for onlookers to judge.

History has shown that pain can be effective in the learning process. Burn your finger on a hot pan, heater or oven door and you will think twice about touching it again. Even toddlers learn that lesson. In fact as toddlers we learn a lot about the environment by trial and error and pain is certainly one of those lessons.

The focus on this article is more on the mischievous toddler rather than the willful toddler. What can parents do to bring the mischievous toddler in to line then?

Distraction: distraction is one of the most effective methods when dealing with a mischievous toddler. Their actions can often be caused by boredom so providing added stimulus in the form of alternative play activities can work wonders.

A toddler that is running around seemingly out of control can suddenly be the perfect angel playing with their play dough or reading a book.

If the distraction used is not getting the desired results then it is possible the distraction provided is not in fact a distraction - find something else.

If a toddler is constantly heading into the wrong areas - either put a barrier in place or try to determine why they want to go there. Believe it or not, it could simply be because you have said no - the more you say no - the more attractive it becomes and the more you start to encourage willful behavior. Distracting the child becomes a better option.

Time Out: Time out works for some children but not all. Popular 'nanny' television shows often display time out as the cure all. Often it cures nothing and may even aggravate the situation. Time out falls more into the punishment category and toddlers soon learn this.

Time out is best used as last choice rather than as a first choice. The accepted rule is one minute per year of age. However it can take twice that long to get the toddler into the time out area.

A better method can be the cooling off period. This does not involve removing the child from the room or putting them in the corner (bad practice even for time out). Cooling off can be done right there and then. It is just a matter of stopping everything and making the toddler sit, or stand, with you for a set period. Generally one or two minutes.

The ideal method is to call a stop to everything and insist on a moments cooling off. No talk, no action, just stop and cool off. When the cooling off period has finished you can either go into the consequences stage, or use the distraction technique.

Consequences: as toddlers get older you can start to talk to them about the consequences of their actions and why you want them to desist from continuing. This can be very frustrating for parents as a lot of toddlers simply the lack the ability to rationalize.

You no sooner finish explaining that what they are doing is wrong and then they dash off and repeat the action. You as the parent start to feel that they are now being willful. This is generally not the case. The truth is,they have not been able to rationalize what you have said.

Consequences need to be repeated many times before the message really strikes home. However, use positive reinforcement and you will start to see results.

Reinforcement: One of the most successful ways to change a toddler's behavior is through positive reinforcement. This does take time and like consequences, needs to be repeated as often as possible.

As a parent you need to avoid the negative trap. Don't do this. Don't touch that. Stop doing something else. Pack away your toys. Sit quietly. These are all demands and generally in the negative.

Try to find the positive in all that they do. Toddlers crave attention and if the attention they get is through misbehaving then they are going to continue that behavior. If you find the positive in what they do and praise them at every opportunity, they will actively seek out activities that bring more praise.

Rewards: rewards can be used to reinforce positive behavior and can also be useful in reducing negative behaviors. Reward charts have been shown to be one of the most beneficial ways to get a child to alter their behaviors.

Reward charts can be used where good behavior earns a sticker, tick or smiley face for example. Do not fall into the trap of rewarding bad behavior by removing stickers, ticks or smiley faces. The reward chart should be just that, a rewards chart.

To be totally effective, the reward should be something that has been selected by the toddler and agreed to at the start. Place a picture of the reward on the chart as a subtle reminder to the child - remember they cannot read, but they can relate to the picture.

Conclusion: trying to discipline a toddler is always going to be difficult as they are often not able to relate the behavior to the discipline. Praise has been shown to be the most important component in any strategy to change behaviors.

The odd angry smack can be of benefit so long as it isn't given in anger - however nearly all smacks are as a result of a parents frustration and anger.

When trying to discipline a toddler, remember they are just that - a toddler. Take the discipline out of the equation and start to think about behavior modification. You will then find success. How do you discipline toddlers - you don't - you guide their behavior into what is you consider to be acceptable.