ADVICE RATING |
 4.75 (Highly recommend) from 18 votes (92 Visits) |
I am a mother of three lively and spirited children ( 2 girls and 1 boy) and have spent much time ( 9 years) in the company of other mums. These mums have, on the most part, been a grounding and reassuring presence in my parenting life so far.
If I was unsure about feeding issues, sleeping issues, for example, in the first few months of my first daughter, it was other mums who I discussed these issues with. More recently, it has been considerations over schooling and discipline which have taken precedence. I have a handful of very good, very wise, loyal and honest mums who have seen me through times which could, honestly, have overwhelmed me, should I have been around the, shall we say, less honest mums?
I have had my biggest belly laughs when discussing/confiding with a relatively new friend that I found it really annoying when, in the middle of an exhausting, early hours feed , my husband used to stroke my back whilst he carried on sleeping. It drove me insane-I was shattered! Then she shared stories about herself and her husband and the harsh reality on the landing stairs in the middle of the night when you are arguing about who has been up the most times or for the longest period.
I have also come into contact with other mums who-shall we say, don't experience any difficulties, at all, in any area of their childrens lives. Here are the mums, who, I am sure, completely unintentionally, made me feel like I was doing it all wrong. Their babies slept through at 6 weeks (mine took at least nine months), piled weight on (mine were below, average and only one over the average centiles) and had parents and in laws clawing their way to help them with babysitting duties. ( mine were unable to help through no fault of their own.) They also made all of their meals, from scratch ( organic of course!), had the naughty step down to a fine art and looked immaculate all of the time.
I know we can all, on occasion, have perfect children and a semblance of a perfect life, but let's be honest, it isn't easy and we,or our children are certainly not perfect. If we share our imperfections, it levels us and creates a bond that we should share as women, and mothers.
I will give you the perfect example of this: I was at a park with an old friend with my son and her two children sitting at a table eating lunch. My three year old wanted to take his shoes off-I remembered that he has odd socks on ( long story!!) but do I insist he keeps them on and wedge them back on his feet before she notices? Of course not, I point it out and we are in hysterics. And that its part of the reason she is a (very) good friend of mine.
Honesty has got to be the way to go to support one another-of course we should congratulate ourselves when we do get it right, but we should also embrace our mistakes and see the humour in them, when possible.
(April 2008) (
