His Place of Safety

My son was scared

He was confused, threatened and insecure

I needed to fix it

So we came up with a plan

We created his own Safe Haven

On his Island he pulls all the strings
 

Whenever my son, gets stressed and uptight, he hurts himself. Yes it breaks my heart whilst the days where he used to wrap things around his neck and say everyone would be happy if he wasn’t around????????   seem to have stopped, hopefully to never return, he is still capable of hitting himself, biting himself and banging his head constantly either with his own fist or against a wall

You can imagine the feelings of inadequacy and pain, you as a parent, go through seeing one of your own suffer this way.

I found a way to help him though, by doing a variation of a relaxation technique.

He sits back/lies back with his eyes shut and he takes a visual trip to his Island. He is not allowed to go to the Island on his own (for reasons I’ll explain further on) However no one is allowed onto the Island without him asking them to come. Nothing is allowed to happen on the Island when he gets there without him approving. It is his virtual island so he controls what happens on it.

If whatever he is taking a break from, follows him to the Island whether it is a person or an issue on his mind, he can order them off the Island. We talk through this and he will tell me that he has ordered them/it off the Island.

Once on his island he chooses an activity it could be a game of football on the beach with the “friends” who he brought along, it may be a walk, it may be a creative activity, he may work on building a shelter, whatever it is he talks through what he is doing on the Island.

Whilst he is talking, we laugh and joke and most importantly he relaxes.

After a few minutes on his Island, he is once again calm and ready to face the real world again. the Island is his safety place, where he can be himself freely.

The reason he is not allowed on the Island by himself, is because I always have fears of autism links to his ADHD, I don’t want my son to retreat from everyone and lose himself in his own little world of imagination. That is not what his Island is about and certainly not what is beneficial to my son.

The Island is my sons visual way of closing his eyes and counting to ten before reacting