Dj is now 16, but I knew he was special when he was born. As Dj grew, I noticed he was very smart but really loved his routine. There were lots of little things i noticed about him as he grew but I didnt know how to approach someone about
it, they might think i was crazy. After starting grade 2, his teacher approached me and told me he was overobsessed with sonic the hedgehog...he lived, ate, breathed it..all his stories were about it, his life was literally sonic the hedgehog. Ok, i knew there was something going on, but again, how do i approach my doctor and what do i say.
Time moved on, more things were coming to light. Being quite excentric, obsessive, finding it hard to mix with other kids, really bad social skills, not being able to read non verbal cues (body language), always getting in peoples bubble space, got upset when the mower started (his ears were sensitive to that noise), picking with food, the list goes on.
When entering high school, it really hit home that something was going on. Going from classroom to classroom really through him out. Then the bullying started. That bought out some things in dj that was so not part of who he was. The bullying got really bad, that bad that the high school payed for Dj to go to private councilling. At this place, a wonderful phsycologist suggested after two meetings, that dj might have aspergers syndrome. He didnt know alot about it but he was nearly text book. An iq test was done first, it was through the roof! then the rest of the testing was done. Yes, he had aspergers syndrome. Dj and I cried when the diagnosis was made. It was a relief that i wasnt crazy...and dj felt relief because he knew he was different but now he knows how and certain feelings he had he didnt understand and now he knows. Alot of our story cant be put into words.
We had only recently started Dj off on medication for his own wellbeing and because he felt as though he needed a bit of assistance. I put it off for a long time and he was only diagnosed with AS last year at the tender age of 15. It is still hard everyday, AS + teenage hormones dont go down together really well.
We dont go out very often because Dj doesnt handle it very well, especially restaurants, being socially immature inhibits him in that way. He also speaks off-topic ALOT, we joke around and call it his 'verbal diahherea'...Dj's has recognised this wording now and it actually has helped him recognised when he is doing it. We were at the local markets the other week and my hubby and i were buying a ticket in a raffle for a cause and dj was standing there and said out of the blue, 'gee, i would love to be a bird'. This we are used to hearing (off-topic stuff), but the poor guy we were getting the tickets from thought it quite strange...the look on his face said it all. We find it quite funny at times and we just answer dj.
Dj is always the first one to offer a compliment or the first one to notice if you have had a hair cut. He notices changes even if it is minute. He is the most caring, loving child and always has been. Although recently, before putting him on medication, he got very verbally violent and would hit walls out of frustration. This was so 'not him', so one of the reasons we finally gave in and sort medication. He comes up and gives me cuddles again, alot. We still have our odd outburst but alot better than it was.
Another thing, you have to explain things in great detail. For example, to do the nightly rubbish. You have to say 'go to the kitchen, get the rubbish out of the rubbish bin there and take it down and put it in the wheelie bin'. You cant just tell him to do the rubbish. Same goes for cleaning his room. You have to write a list of things he has to do and how to do it.
He cant just catch a bus either unless you go with him or you give him a written list of what to do and where to go. You cant just tell him to catch the no.2 bus. Everything has to be in great detail so he doesnt get confused, thus leading to frustration and him getting lost! Just remembering he has a very high IQ. So with everyday things he has trouble but again, you can have the most detailed, mature, stimulating conversation with him too.
A little bit of a rundown:
Named for a Viennese physician, Hans Asperger, who in 1944 published a paper which described a pattern of behaviours in several young boys who had normal intelligence and language development, but who also exhibited autistic-like behaviors and marked deficiencies in social and communication skills.
In spite of the publication of his paper in the 1940's, it wasnt until 1994 that Aspergers Syndrome (Aspergers Disorder) was added to the DSM IV and only in the past few years has AS been recognized by professionals and parents.
Aspergers Syndrome is a neurobiological disorder. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights. The person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see. Therefore, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to those neurological defferences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior and most certainly not the result of 'improper parenting'. By definition, those with AS have a normal to high IQ and many individuals exhibit exceptional skill or talent in a specific area. Because of their high degree of functionality and their naivete, those with AS are often viewed as eccentric or odd and can easily become victims of teasing and bullying.
I have also heard it being referred to as High functioning autism.
As a child, AS was alot easier to deal with, but as a young adult it is hard and i mean hard. I have researched alot and asked alot of professionals about this so i can learn more and more.
My current mother in law (who is Dj's step Nana)has been a great source of help and support as she works with kids with special needs and has been able to give me some great advice too. The whole family has been very excepting of Dj's condition.
Life may not be perfect, but i will say, my son is.
(April 2008) (
