ADVICE RATING |
 5.00 (Highly recommend) from 6 votes (60 Visits) |
So many times I've seen separated parents use their children as pawns. Things like, "if you don't do this, you won't see your kids" .... "give me more money or you won't see your kids" ..... blah blah blah. It's childish & pathetic, & very, very unfair to
the child/ren.
Of course, I know there are exceptions. There are parents who do unspeakable things to their child/ren. That is different.
If you separate from your spouse it hurts. But most people are so focused on how much they are hurting that they don't think about how it's affecting the kids. They argue in front of the children, confusing them even more.
You have to remember: kids come first, no matter what, and they deserve the right to have BOTH parents in their lives.
If you are going to argue, do so away from the children. Work out some guidelines for the kids, together. Things such as bedtimes, what kind of foods they should have, where they should go, etc. If you are really putting the kids first, thinking about what is best for them, you CAN have a civilised conversation. If you do not agree on an issue, compromise.
I've seen cases where the father, for example, had something come up on his normal weekend with his kids. In such scenarios, most mothers would say, "oh, well, that's your weekend, if you can't make it, tough." Why not just work out another weekend? Does it really matter if it works out that the father would then have the kids 2 weekends in a row? What's the big deal?
If you really cannot talk without arguing, if you really cannot come to any agreements, go to a family counsellor together. There's nothing wrong with getting a bit of help so that you can do the right things for the kids!
Put your children first; do not argue in front of them; talk things through; compromise; get help if need be. Do whatever you have to to make life easier for your children. They are NOT pawns for you to use to get your own way!
(April 18th) (
