Teenage parties

Teenage parties can be stressful. Teens want to be considered 'grown up' and so have parties to suit, but they do need guidelines.

Decide on the number to be invited. Remember that there's usually some who can't make it so add a few extras. On the invitation, write 'invitation only', that way invitees can't invite other people. Often those invited to parties will invite other friends or boy/girlfriends. Make sure you keep a list of who is invited so you can check them off as they arrive.

If practical, have one entrance only to the party. For instance, I know someone who had a party for her teen in her backyard; she made sure the side gate was the only entrance and she kept close tabs on who came in. It's unfortunate that so many teen parties end up ruined by gate crashers.

The older teens get, the more they want alcohol. It is a personal choice if you allow alcohol, but I think there should be limits if you do. For instance, you could allow each guest 2 cans or small bottles of a premix drink. I'm not saying underage drinking is a good thing, but it's not always a bad thing either - teenagers want to drink, if they are stopped they will just sneak it. As I said, it's a personal choice. I threw a 16th party for a friend a couple of years back and what I did was make a punch with non-alcoholic wine. I told the guests the punch had wine in it, I just didn't mention it was non-alcoholic. The party-girl knew, she thought it was a great idea. Her friends thought they were drinking alcohol but they weren't.

Teens want more 'grown up' food, gone are the good old things like fairy bread and chocolate crackles, lol, so ask your teen what they would like. Don't assume you know what they want - you probably do, but if you just go buy food without consulting the teen, he/she will probably not be happy, so to keep the teen happy, work out a menu together. Teens will usually want what you suggest, but they won't admit it.

Set the time for the start and end of the party and stick to it. Make sure it is on the invitation that the party ends STRICTLY at whatever time you put. Tell your teen to also remind his/her friends when giving the invites out that they MUST be ready to leave at the set time. Otherwise you can end up with guests lingering way too long. When the time comes for the party to end, turn off lights and music so they will get the hint.

While the party is in full swing, don't hover too much. Naturally you want to keep an eye on things, but a teen doesn't want their parent hanging around. Serving the food is a good way to watch what's going on. Once that's all done, maybe there's a window you can peek out of now and then? Or peek around a doorway.

My thinking with all this is that the teen still gets the 'grown up' feeling while you still retain control. Teens are not kids anymore, but certainly aren't adults, either. We have to let them be 'in between'.