ADVICE RATING |
  4.27 (Worth a try) from 13 votes (198 Visits) |
There's nothing that I have a harder time resisting the urge to intervene on than a fellow parent using "No" incessantly to try and teach their child something–usually to stop doing an undesirable behavior. Of course I know that no one wants unsolicited advice, and this is why
I refrain from saying anything, but in my experience, there are many ways besides repeating no that will be more successful in avoiding the need for discipline. The number one tool in my experience is distraction.
We've all been in a situation where we are at a relative's or friend's house that maybe isn't that baby or toddler friendly and it seems like we are constantly taking baby's hands off of objects of their desire. For these kinds of situations it can be good to carry a few small toys that will work as distractions if the parent or relative doesn't have any on hand. Even without toys though, there can usually be something found in the setting that will distract baby from a no-no.
For example, say a friend has a collection of knick-knacks that are kept at baby-reachable level. Of course baby goes straight for those! So what do you do? Do you slap baby's hand away when s/he reaches for the breakable and loudly say no? I, personally, would hope not. A quiet no to let baby know this isn't for him/her is okay, but then add on to that "Why don't we look at this?" and guide baby away from the no object.
The "this" you look at together can be just about anything. A window looking out on the yard, a toy that's been brought, a spoon, a dust bunny (kidding here! I realize we do have hygiene to consider, too!)... really, babies are fascinated with everything, and for good reason! It's all new to them. This is part of what makes using distraction as a technique so easy to live by. There's always something available that baby, and eventually toddler, pre-schooler, grade-schooler, etc, will be interested in. My three year old can easily be led away from undesirable or possibly dangerous behavior by simply making an alternative suggestion for something to do, and it is especially effective if I sit down and participate in the new activity with him for a bit.
The one possible "drawback" to using distraction to turn children away from undesirable behavior is that it does take time. But I would think that would be a "drawback" any parent who wants to try and raise responsible young citizens would be willing to brave. At the very least, cutting down on the use of the word no can work wonders. Children become deaf to it if they hear it too much, and we, as parents, don't want to lose the power of this small word. If we overuse it though, we surely will.
I definitely recommend trying distraction as a means of redirecting children's behavior when necessary. It sure beats saying "No" fifty times. And if a child is distracted to a better behavior, it won't get to the point where discipline is needed.
(May 2008) (
I try to keep my calm though and guide my kids instead of just...bossing? Thanx!
