I had such an incredible experience iwth my labour that I though i would send it right out there for people to laugh at and think about as they come up to or have just had their babies. :)
well, a little background first.
my bundle of mischief
was due on the 11th of January, this year. We were hoping I would go into labouro n bozing day, just for convenience of travel time to the hiospital. but boxing day cam with terrible news. my grandmother passed away that morning. she was 55. so we took the four hour drive to my prantes place to , well im not really sure why, but i just had this feeling that i needed to be with the family. it shook the kids up pretty bad. my mum was panicking the whole time tthat i was going to go into labour in the middle of nowhere on the way to r from but we were lucky. in hind sight, not the smartes thing to do i guess.
We returned home and i decide my pants feel decidely damp. i figured just sweaty due to the boiling temperature and changed. bu an hour later i was damp again. after a few phone calls to the hospital they decided to keep an eye on it and if it happeened again to go in. my tummy was feeling sick and nervous like when your a kid and youve done something really naughty. my husband said i looked pale an d asled if i was okay. all i could say was i dont want to do this. its gonna hurt! am hour later we go visit the hospital and got to lay on the bed for awhile with some goop on my belly wuth a monitor attavhed and got to press a button everytime the baby kicked. i saw a little music note come up on the graph the machine was constantly printing. it was pretty fun. then in came a nurse that looked like hitler. she used some cold thing that looks like the thing hey use when you have a papsmear and a gigantic earbud and decided my waters hadnt broken, but the dampnss was normal.she sent me home at 2.30 am, and i had an appointment there at 9.30 the morning. great.
i go to my appointment only to be told i was being booked in for an induction two weeks after my due date. wonderful. i wanted to sleep darn it, and i wanted the baby on the outside alraeady! the look in the diary and manage to book me in for the 2nd February. fourteen days my big toe. i wenthome incredibley downthinking i would have to wait that long to see my bubs. i dont even know what sex bubby is.not that we didnt try to find out mind you. he was bashful. my husband's phone rings. its his boss. in trouble because the boss forgot he was taking the morning off to take me to hospital. tells him not to bother coming in for the afternoon anyway. we enjoy some snuggly time atleast.
my due date comes along and im excited. i put on clothes that aren't bursting at the seams, nice comfy clothes. u check my bag(s) have everything i need, cd's, spiky balls for massages, books, crosswords, the lot. the lady from my work pulled the short sraw and called me to see how i was going. nothing. not a cramp, no desire to mop the ceiling, cook or clean or be domestic in general.just pay my bills. that night i was distraught of the thought of a nother month. i convince my sympathetic husband to buy some orange jice for me even though i am mildly allergic. i mix it with oil and make the worst tasting cocktail i have ever come across.
11 am, 12th of jan, my waters burst. i call the hospital and they decide i should go in. no contractions yet. i call my husband to come home so he can take me to the hospital. i feel a strange moving in my belly, and i tell him i think im starting to have contractions. 11.05 am. he rings back at 11.15 wouldn't you know if your having contractions? IM HAVING CONTRACTIONS! I almost yell to him from the lounge room floor where i curled up. they hit hard and fast. i try to time them. 5 minutes apart? that cant be right. what ever happ ened to the first stage of labour? what happened to the ten minutes apart? according to the fact sheet the hospital gave me, i should be in a hospital bed now. by the time my husband gets home they are three mintues apart and i feel like killing someone to make it stop. 11.40 my husband walks in , looks at me and asks am i alright ? i just look at him and he heads for the shower. cant go to hospital covered in concrete. he yells out to ask if he has time to havea shave. for the photos i guess. i scream back at him NO. he grabs my stuff and piles us in te car, getting dressed as he drives. i can no longer suck water out of the waterbottle i have been carrying aroundbecause i have squished it so much. i found it gave me a sense of releif from the pain. not really it just took my mind off it. 11.50 we find ourselves stuck behind a truck. i currently have one foot on the windscreen and one on the glovebox and im calmly saying i hope i dont have a baby in our concrete covered car.
12.01 my husband drops me at the main entrance to the hospital while he finds a park. i get to the desk.12.06 the lady on the phone hangs up talking to he rboyfriend and asks me what she can do for me. i manage to pant out. im having a baby, she looks at me and says now? i think no silly, tomorrow, this is just a rehearsal. my conractions are overlapping and i want to cry. a lady wheels me to maternity. i decide i hate wheelchairs, they feel so unstable like their pushig me backwards.12.19 they find me a bed, and a midwife named michael. my husband comes in and his sister not long after. i start throwing up. after half an hour the midwife does the first internal inspection. OW! he decides im 4cm and in labour. then adds. but you already knew that. he went on to explain something about how my body is being interioraly decorated or something. my husbad asks if we go home or if we stay. micheal says this is where i stay until i have the baby. then it hits. im having the baby NOW.
1.20 after crushing three pens my husband decides to find the midwife to get me some pain releif. i go for the gas. and turn it right up. haklf an hour and three mouth peices later ( i chewed throught them. the gas helped more so i could chew on something more than anything) the midwife does another internal and decides im in a hurry and im 7cm now. he sends me for a shower because 'showers work as well as the gas for some people'. after ten minutes i feel like im going to strangel him. i come out and demand a c section. he says its too late for that. some hwere along the line i have been stripped due to the vomit on me. and i have a million pillows and hot packs behind my back. my head is currently rolling around on my head and im trying to play simpons episodes through my head. not working. everyone is just trying to take the gas away. the only thing stopping me from screaming. 2.10 the midwife turns the cd player on and noone can find my rainforest cd. pink flloyd is playing. i demand that evil be hushed straight away. more gas. i lose track of coversation. the midwife tells me to remove the mouthpeice when the contractions over. yep, sure. so far this ones been going for about an hour.2.20 my huusband says hes going to the car to get something. i tell him he isnt moving more than arms reach away and ask his sister to go fetch my midwife. he decides its time and takes the gas away. my husband says he has nice hair. i tell him i dont car at the moment. the hitler nurse has materialised at my feet and keeps saying dont talk, push and i keep saying i am darn it! and she keeps telling me dont talk. then all of a sudden they say stop. but too late. the rest of the baby flies out. My husband looks at me and he is so excited. he tells my our baby is a Liam. so I assume he is a boy. considering I doubt we would name our son Jenna. it is now 2.45. the hospital staff are amazed at how quick it was. 3 hours and forty-five minutes. and as they put my squirmy little baby on me, i think,. how does my mum keep doing this! why!? and then they decide to implement the stitches. and boy am i glad they bring the gas back for this.
Later on in the ward the girl in the bed next to me asks if i am going to have another one. she had a 29hour labour. i say yep in a few years. what am i thinking!? have i forgotten what i just went through!?
my husband is so proud that i did it so quickly and i didnt swear, and that i only used gas. he tells everyone im a superwoman. no, im not a superwoman. im just a woman that does super things.
hope i havent scared anyone, it was the best day of my life. even if it was a day late.
(August 2006) (
Lexi xxx
