We live a bit of a crazy life. I have 2 very active, creative and very bright children who frequently rub each other up the wrong way. Our house is very noisy - often with kids yelling at each other or me yelling at them and I have had 
enough.
I have been learning over time the importance of a peaceful environment for children. It helps give them down time, keeps them calm and behaving better and it helps me keep sane.
I am noticing that when I take the time to make the following things happen their behaviour is much better and we are all a lot happier and relaxed around each other. That makes a huge difference to us as a family - and to tired parents particularly.
1) Only have the TV on at certain times of the day - for us that is kids tv over breakfast (8.30-9.00, late I know!), then it goes off at 10. It sometimes comes back on at about 3, but only if my son obviously needs to sit down and have some non-active time. Then it is off again over dinner-time and comes back on for grownups when the kids are in bed.
2) I like to play music at other times of the day, but we also have quiet times, where there is no music and no tv or radio.
3) We need to get out every day. On crazy days, this could be a quick stop off at the park, or a run around the garden quickly before it gets dark. But mostly I like to have a couple of hours (preferably in the morning and early afternoon) in the garden. The kids have a trampoline, cubby house and climbing frame, but they often make their own fun. They have bats and balls and things to climb in and ride on - but one of their favourite games is the plank of wood over the old (empty) pond. This has become troll bridge, the drawbridge and the pirate 'walk the plank'.
4) I try to involve them in things outdoors, taking an interest in the garden - "look what we have growing here", "look at the leaves coming off that". Recently we had a caterpillar hunt and made one a little house indoors ( though we need to learn a bit more about that as he died!). They pick my fruit and veges and eat them and they help me plant things. I think that connection to nature is a huge help in centering them and keeping them calmer.
5) Have some down time every day. My son hasn't napped since just after his 2nd birthday and even my daughter is not having naps every day now. So we need rest time. This could be reading, lying down, or (in my son's case) watching tv. (I know this is not the best, but he lies on the lounge with his blanket and rests). We read before bed every night and the only problem is limiting the books, as my son LOVES them.
6) Keep calm, mum. I am sick of yelling. So now, I talk quietly, I go up to them, look them in the eye and talk firmly. This has saved a lot of stress on my part and seems to keep everyone calm. We need to be firm in what we will accept in behaviour and find appropriate ways of deterring - whether time out or removing objects. For us it depends on the situation and I will take things away, or separate my 2 and have time out.
7) Mums also need find ways of relaxing - hobbies for us! There is a lot involved in taking time for yourself but it is worth the effort. No-one wins if you are tired and cranky and feeling all "mummed" out. Why not give the kids an age appropriate craft activity, then sit and read a book while they do it (ok, so that doesn't happen very often but it is worth a try). I strongly believe the more energy you have the more patience you have and you can stay calmer and firmer when you need to.
I hope I'm not rambling here and I hope this helps someone. As I said I have 2 pretty intense children and these are some of the ways that I am learning to keep us all happy and calm together. They may not work for all and they may seem pretty common-sense to some, but I thought they may help some other mum out there (like me) who has to learn it the hard way.
(May 9th) (
