what if u live alone wth two young chldren with minimal family support and no friends? what if you are absolutely penniless, unmotivated and jst want to lay in bed sobbing all day? what if you get so suicdal yet so tormented by the thought of leaving your children with the burden that mummy killed herself that you begin to think of ways to take them with you? Please help me, i dnt want my chldren to suffer my depression and  dnt want to bring them to any danger. Im scared of what my darkest moments will make me capable of

Good to know that u have some form of support/backup for those low times, I'm just wondering what to do when you really don't have anyone at all... And keeping knives and scissors away only worked for so long, i've found that i can easily make myself bleed from scratching and picking hard enough, I'm not sure if I know how to stop... Hope everything goes well, and maybe there is light at the end of the tunnel, I feel as if I've been suicidal my entire life; it'd be good to know it was possible

What a great and heartfelt letter! I can fully understand the difficulty that having such an oppressive disorder can be. All I can say is keep on holding on to life. Remember that you are strong, even when you are feeling week. Believe that you are such an important person in the lives of all your family and friends, even when you feel alone and / or undeserving of that love.

My prayers and thoughts are with you.

Kindest Regards,

Tina.

You sound like you manage your illness very well and you have fantastic family support which is the most important factor in dealing with any mental health issues.

Great advice and well done! Take a bow!!!!!!!!!

My heart felt wishes and prayers are added to those already listed.  Although I don't suffer from bi polar disorder I have always been prone to bouts of mild depression all my life.  This was magnifyed intensely after the birth of my first son and slightly less with my second son through having post natal depression.  With my first son I try to block out now just how many times I actually thought about killing myself.  I thank god I still had the rationality to no go through with it and finally the guts to get help.  My youngest son is now 18 months old and I am still struggling on a daily basis to get through some moments.  I do notice it is getting better though so hopefully the light is there at the end of the tunnel for me.  I encourage you to keep talking about what your going through.  I have no hesitation in letting people know about my experiences in the hope that perhaps I might make a difference to their way of thinking and open up others minds to the awareness of mental illness.  Between this acceptance and the help Ihave received from professional people, family and friends encourages me to get out and live my life not just for my sake but for my husband and my boys.  Take care and best wishes to you

 Thank you for being so open and sharing with people. I used to struggle with severe depression when I was younger. It also runs in my family. If more people had an open dialouge about things like this, maybe so many would live with the shame that often leads to suicide.

Thanks again. 

I have been living with these thoughts for a long time.  Luckily for me now, my kids are young adults and an important part of my support network.

What works the best for me is knowing what my support network would go through if i committed suicide.  It would not be pleasant.

I am a pill taker so my meds are often handed to me daily when I have these episodes.  Staying in bed and sleeping is a major part of what I end up doing at these times so I can relate.

Just keep strong and live for you and your support people, thats how I get past the feelings.

Bless you for being so strong and hanging in there, for yourself and your family.

Unfortunatly My dad did take his own life when i was just a child and I cannot describe how much it hurt me and still effects me. Be strong, Know you can fight this, and you will!

Thank you for sharing xx court

 Hi 

What a good article. As a person living with depression myself it is always great to read other people's stories to find out how they feel and what they do to cope. It is so hard when one is in the middle of a black period to get out of bed and talk to someone but that and walking seem to work the best for me. Having suicidal feelings comes with the worst  of depression or Bipolar and it really helps me to try and remember that it is not me or my thoughts that are wrong and that I am not crazy, but that they are just a major symptom off the illness.  I wish all those out there with this experience (for want of a better word) all my love and best wishes and remember that when you come out of the dark and you will that every thing will be that much brighter

I have a brother who is a manic depressive and at times he has seriously considered taking his own life.His depression came to a head nearly 4 years ago.His 30 year marriage was a bit hit and miss and it all came to a head and he came to live at my house for a while and had a breakdown.He has since received counselling and is a little better but still has really bad days where he doesn't want to speak to anyone and stays in bed for days.

This is a really good article and I would imagine that an awful lot of people suffer in silence with mental illness.Thanks for sharing your story,Lisa xx

I have a sister who is a psychologist, but also has depression.  My mum also has severe depression and is still currently on the mend, I am her carer.  Thank you so much for sharing you story and know that you are not alone.

Being able to write out your feelings is also a help.  I have a son with bipolar disorder.  His psychiatrist suggested that he keep a journal to write his feelings in and when he is on the downward spiral, to read about the up times that he has.  It sounds to me like you have a very good support group.  Keep up the good work and you are in my prayers as well.

Thanks for sharing your story! Have been there and that in its self is a long story...... Just remember that there are always people around you that can help and we are all there for you. Take one step at a time and i will be thinking of you!

Hugs and Kisses tee

Hi Liz,

GOOD on your for sharing your story with everyone . ..  You and I have been friends for ages and we both share the highs and lows, I am so very very proud of you . ..

Cheers Kellz

Liz,

I'm so sorry you have to go through this!  Just know that you are cared about and so many people are here for you on Minti.  Please remember that you are a blessing in the lives of so many others who are finding courage, comfort and strength through your struggles and triumphs.  By writing articles like this you are helping many other people who are too scared to talk about their own problems.  Thank you for being such a bright light to others even during your own personal darkness.  You are in my prayers!  Get well soon!!

Luv,

Lisa

Mental ilness of any kind is often ignored and not understood, thanks for sharing your story and making more people aware of the anguish you go through. I am so pleased you have a good support nework around you with hubby and friends, please take advantage of it, I am sure they would want you too. Minti is also a great support network!

Lorna x

I've had thoughts like that pass through my mind several times a day for about 20 years now. I've learned how to ignore them for the most part and distract myself. But when I get really down, you are right, it is very hard to talk to people. Especially when you have the concern that they might just take your honesty as just an attention-seeking method. What some people don't get is that is exactly what you need - positive attention!

I've found that minti is a great place to get online and talk about it, because here I feel safe and I know that I'm not the only one that gets like this. When other people say, "I know, I get like that too, it's all okay, you can talk to me about it." it is a huge relief to find those people and to communicate those thoughts.

One particularly bad night I had a round of members jumping online to talk to me, and I swear it was like they were working in shifts, as if one had to get off the computer so they contacted another to get online to take their place! I don't think that was the case, if it was it was very well executed, but regardless, it got me through that bad night and I'm still here, and I'm grateful to them all for that.

Liz this is great that you shared all this with us and please know that you not dragging us as your friends down with you, and we are here to support you..

xx cazza

hello dear liz

great adice and i dont know what you are going through but i am thinking of you heaps

belxxx

Hi,

I am not going pretend i know what you are going through but let me just tell you there are heaps of people here that can help you. I don't know you but i am hoping i can get to know you and help in some way by just lending you an ear.

Sending you big hugs through the keyboard

Juzzy xoxox