It's great to plan everything out perfectly when planning a baby, even down to the last dollar. But from a bit of life experience with having kids, I can tell you that whatever plans you make, they could all very quickly have to get thrown to the wayside at the 
last minute, because children and parenting, and life in general, are far from predictable.
If it is your first baby, you will want a pram with all the fancy convertible and detachable bits, colour-coordinated to suit everything else. You’ll want the best cot, the most expensive baby car seat, great toys, cool play-pens, all the safety devices known to man, and a wardrobe full of gorgeous clothes, a stylish high chair, a baby bath, change table, and all the fancy baby bottles, cups, plates and cutlery. Then there’s the endless supply of nappies, creams, lotions, and soaps. The list goes on.
You freak out. OMG It’s so expensive to have a baby! Quick, we’d better start saving now! But before we do that we have to pay our debts, buy a new car, buy a house…
Do you really need all the stuff that you are planning for?
Many people have children and cope just fine with no plans at all. I still haven't got a cot for my little fella, and I only just got his pram repaired (it got damaged when he was 2 weeks old) a couple of days ago. He's almost 8 weeks old now. I got a car capsule on hire when I finally got my car going, when he was three weeks old. I get his clothing, mostly second-hand and it's all good, just before he's about to grow out of the size he's in. I planned to have this baby, but I also planned to hold off of getting everything I supposedly needed until I did actually need it. I change him on the floor with a little $5 travel change mat under him.
Babies can be astoundingly expensive if you want all the best stuff with all the bells and whistles, but they don't care if their cot cost $50 at a second-hand store or $1000 new. So long as they are warm, dry, comfortable, clean, well fed, loved and cuddled, they're happy. The only person you are satisfying with extras is yourself, and you'll be surprised how much you can do without. I think I've spent no more than $200 on my little one so far, that includes nappys, formula, a couple of toys, a dummy he refuses to have anything to do with, etc. You will also be surprised how much people will give to you when you have a baby as well.
If you go buying all the fancy top-of-the-line stuff before the baby is born you could very well be just wasting your money. Babies grow incredibly fast. They out-grow their clothes, their prams, their car seats, etc; well before these things get damaged in any way. Then you have a pile of baby gear that you can no longer use… unless you’re planning a large family. The first time you had a boy, and everything is blue. What if you have only girls from this point on? What if for some reason you don’t end up having any more children at all?
I’ve got a very expensive brand name electronic perpetual motion baby swing in my lounge room, and my little boy loves it. There is no way I’d ever spend so much money on such a thing. The only reason why I have it is because a friend of mine has loaned it to me, and I’ll only have it for about 6 months before my boy is too big and heavy to use it anymore. My friend has two children. The first one out-grew the swing before he ever got a lot of chance to use it, and the second child hated it and refused to use it. She is not having any more children. What to do with a very expensive item of baby gear that only got used a few times? Loan it to a friend. Besides re-sell it, and baby gear is so common its re-sale value is pitiful at best, there’s not a lot else that can be done with it. As my little man out-grows all his clothing, I pass it on to a friend who’s little bubby was born a month after mine. My boy doesn’t need fancy designer baby clothing to look totally gorgeous. He is just as gorgeous living in grow suits. We have a little bit of cute clothing that I keep for going out on special occasions, but we only have that because it was given to me. All but 4 of my grow suits are second-hand and still in the same condition as the new ones.
Do you have to buy the new car and the house before having a baby? If you bought the house you probably wouldn’t own it until your baby has grown up and left home anyway. There are advantages to owning your own home. You have an asset that you can use to get further finance – and more debt. You don’t have to replace the broken windows when your child starts throwing toys through them until you can afford to do so instead of when your landlord decides you have to do it. And eventually that house will belong to you – assuming that you haven’t struck financial problems and been unable to make the mortgage repayments. As your family expands you don’t need to have a room for every child. My grandmother had a three bedroom house and six children: one room for the parents, one for the boys to share, and one for the girls to share. My grandfather was one of 11 children. My aunt had 11 children. They didn’t live in 12 bedroom houses! Live within your means and where you feel comfortable and your children will be just fine. As for the new car, what is wrong with the old one? Why buy a baby car seat when you can hire one for far less cost?
I'm not saying don't plan it out, but try to relax a little bit. Sometimes things don't go according to plan. Sometimes we lose our babies before they are born. Sometimes we don't get pregnant until years after we wanted a child. Sometimes it never happens at all. And sometimes we end up having to rush our plans because that baby decided that it wanted to exist a lot sooner than we were ready for it! The greatest plan you should be considering when looking into having a baby is how to improvise for things when your best thought out plan 'a's have suddenly had to switch to plan 'b', 'c', 'd', and 'omg what do we do now!'
(May 16th) (
great article chickie ::)'s from becca!
