ADVICE RATING |
 4.65 (Highly recommend) from 16 votes (70 Visits) |
After seeing my father cheat on my mother and so many friends marriages fall apart, I have some advice that I want you all to consider. I am not pretending I know everything, but I think if we can look at life from every angle, then we can be the
best we can be and have the best of the best....if that makes sense.
I have been with my partner, now husband, for 15 years on and off. I love him to the ends of the earth, but...there is always a but...put only 90% into our relationship to ensure my life does not begin and end with him only. I am also a mother of two young boys and a carer of my mother who had depression, but is now nearly completely recovered...we hope.
My story begins with the story of my mother. A dedicated, loving and caring woman who originated from overseas. She had 2 girls, 1 miscarriage and one still birth. My Dad who works in mining is a real workaholic, but my Mum has always stood by his side. She cut his hair, cooked healthy food when he got diabetes, moved state or country every 3 years...just to support her husband. During her journey she got so caught up in the husband and kids, she often forgot herself. She even slept with us girls, scared someone would steal us. Because my father was always away at work and my mother kept herself busy with us girls, the marriage slowly fell apart and my father strayed.
We were all so angry because we knew Mum was not perfect, but she surrounded her life with her family, never hardly worked (coz he didn't think she needed to) and was left stranded in Australia, without her own family, husband and now with 2 daughters who were quickly growing up and wanting their own lives. This is how the depression developed...she lost a role, she was not longer really needed as a mother, was too old to work and felt abandoned and alone...although so many people tried to show and tell her different, it was too late.
I guess the moral of my story is I do believe when you are in a relationship that you should try your hardest to make it work! Go to a marraige councellor, talk to one another, go on dates without the kids, stay up late and talk or watch a funny movie - don't forget your a marriage needs to consistantly be spiced up, changed or rearranged...your kids are important, but so is you partner.
As well as thinking about your partner and kids, think about you too!!! Don't allow yourself to only have friends that are connected to your partner. Get yourself your own friends and hobbies. Go out with the boys or girls every now and then. Learn how to be alone sometimes. Because if things don't work out...you will not be totally crushed or get depression and feel like you don't want to live or start over again. We may be unlucky in love, but life does have to go on sometimes. Prepare yourself for the worst and don't rely on others to totally support you, a little independence goes a long way.
(May 2008) (
