When you try to help your child with homework, does he pout? Do you get mad? Do you regret what you say? Inside you’ll find 5 mistakes and 10 parenting affirmations to motivate your child and build character too.
Character Building Quote:
“It is easier and wiser to raise a happy, healthy child than to repair an adult.” – Christina Bublick
Years ago I felt frustrated when my boys were young and I tried to help them with schoolwork. They pouted. They cried. They wouldn’t even try. Here I was trying to help them and they wanted play with their friends instead. What a shock!
5 Common Mistakes that Parents Must Repair:
Parenting Mistake 1 ~
“Stop crying or I’ll give your something to cry for.”
Let’s face it, many of our parents used this threat with us and it didn’t work. Think back when this was said to you. Did your parents sound and look angry? Did you feel revengeful or stubborn? Avoid using this threat with your child. Think before you speak.
Parenting Mistake 2 ~
“You’ll never amount to anything.”
If your parents said this to you, were you angry inside? Did you shut down? Did you even feel like trying? Many children tell themselves, “Why try? Mom and Dad think I’m dumb.”
I know you don’t want your child to think like this. I know you want your child to succeed so please think before you speak.
Parenting Mistake 3 ~
“You’re just a crybaby!”
This put-down isn’t exactly a motivation to study spelling, division, or even complete a school project. It won’t stop your child from crying either. It will strengthen feelings of helplessness in your child. I know this is just the opposite from the self-motivation you’d love to promote.
Parenting Mistake 4 ~
“You’re so lazy. Why can’t you try like your brother?”
Here your child gets called a name, “lazy,” and gets compared to his sibling too. Name calling and comparisons hurt your child’s feelings; create stubbornness, and a dislike for his brother. These are not the results you want to develop in your child.
Parenting Mistake 5 ~
“You’re such a loser. Get out of my sight!”
Now you’ve done it. You’ve not only called her a mean name, “loser,” you told her you couldn’t stand being around her. The feeling your child gets is one of being unlovable. I know you don’t want this because your child means the world to you.
Character Building Advice:
Whether you say the above or similar words when you’re frustrated, stop saying them. When you’re child pouts, cries, or won’t try, put on the mantle of patience. Wrap it around you. Rise above your child’s mood and think before you speak.
Should you give in and send your child out to play? By no means, for if you do, you’ll increase her tears, pouts, and she’ll refuse to think in the future too.
If you sit across from your child, read and be quiet when your child is reacting poorly. Don’t look at your child’ face! Avoid making yourself feel angrier inside.
Parenting Tips - 10 Positive Affirmations that Build Character:
Use these words outside of study time. Imagine how you’d feel if everyone said these words to you and gave you examples why they are true. Then say them to your child and give examples too.
“You have a powerful brain. I love how you use it.”
“You can do it.”
“You’re brain loves to exercise its power.”
“Your mind is special and unique.”
“You have a fabulous memory.”
“Your mind is full of good ideas.”
“You’re a winner.”
“Your mind loves to think and learn.”
“Your brain is a good friend to you.”
“I believe in you.”
Character Building Conclusion:
Raise a happy healthy child. Think before you speak. Say the affirmations your child loves to hear. Give your child examples of when he exercised his brain and succeeded. If you do, you won’t be raising a child who will need repair. You’ll be raising a child with character. You can do it. I believe in you.
Resource Box____________________________________________________
Jean Tracy, MSS publishes a free parenting newsletter. Subscribe at http://www.KidsDiscuss.com and receive 80 fun activities to share with your kids.
Discover 75 Affirmations for building character in your child with our Parent Affirmations Kit at www.kidsdiscuss.com/parent_resource_center.asp These affirmations were created for wonderful parents like you.
(June 7th) (
