Re: Showering with your toddler
Asked by Queen-Fire
Question:
I find it is easier to shower with Damian if he is awake when i have a shower rather than leaving him crying in his cot.
I have mentioned that i shower with
damian to other mothers and they all look at me horified.
So i was wondering what are everyone's thought on this matter ? and what age is consider normal to stop showering with your child ?
My Advice:
I was raised in a very 'old school' environment. Nudity was very much taboo in my house, and I never saw my parents naked.
When they would shower they would walk into the bathroom fully clothed, and exit the bathroom after their shower fully clothed. I never once saw them walk directly across the hall from the bathroom to their bedroom dressed in only a towel or less.
As such I think this has had alot to do with my parenting style.
Ive been learning more and more lately that everyone's parenting style is unique and there are no two parents on this earth with exactly the same standards and morals. Sure, there will be plenty of freakishly similar styles, but everyone will differ in some slight way.
When my children were newborns, I used to love bathing with them. There is something so pure and beautiful about bathing with your newborn baby laying in the bath chest to chest having a cuddle together. But when should this skin to skin contact cease?
But you are right, it is far easier to carry them and shower them with you, than to leave them unsupervised in their cot, so I can see where you are coming from. But dont let those horrified glances put you off just yet.
Some people (myself included) think that this should stop before your baby becomes too alert. Call me ridiculous but I would never bathe with a child over the age of 3 months. But I know that's just me being old fashioned and stupid. Because of the way I have been brought up, I would think that I would feel dirty and disgusting, like I was doing something that was forbidden. But others, are perfectly happy for their children to see them naked. I have a friend who is a self proclaimed 'hippy' who 'lives completely off the grid' with her family in the middle of a hippy commune. There they bathe in the creek on an 'as required' basis, and her eldest child is now 5 and attending school. When I heard this, although I was happy for her being confident enough about herself to let her son see her naked, especially as she is pregnant, so her kids can see her belly grow, but I thought to myself, no way in hell would my kids ever be doing that with me.
So it brings up some interesting thoughts to ponder.
- Is my child 'missing out' by not bathing with me?
- Are they still young enough for it to be socially acceptable to bathe with them naked?
- How will they react when a) they see me naked and b) will they be too embarassed?
- What happens if their friends find out, will this make them a possible candidate for bullying?
I think it is a personal decision when trying to decide this, as noone knows your child and how they will react better than you do, maybe talk to your family, parents, brothers/sisters, and see what they did with their kids?
I hope that my advice has helped you in some way, but in the end it really is a personal decision.
Good luck on whatever you decide.
(June 2008) (
