When I ended my marriage

A few people told me, I would be fine in 2 years !!!

Can you imagine what flashed through my mind at that point

TWO YEARS !!!!!!!

They may have said 22 years

The thing is its what you do with those two years that really matters.

Most importantly:

Take time to Heal
Even if the relationship was amicable, it still would cause you pain, at the end of the relationship you are also saying Bye to your dreams that you once held for the future
If, like me, the relationship was in anyway life threatening and you had no choice in ending it, you also need to take the time to Heal both physically and mentally

Get the Right Help
For some this may be simply sorting things through in a civilised manner with the ex partner, not all relationship breakdowns need threatening solicitors and children being torn in two
For others it may mean a long process of physically healing then starting on the long journey of healing the mental scars, i cannot urge anyone enough that if you have been in an abusive relationship, please talk to people who understand, join workshops, see counsellors/psychologists. Recovering from an abusive relationship is near impossible to do on your own. You need understanding and you need to find self forgiveness

Don't spend your life struggling with the "What If's..... or If Only........"
These thoughts can drag you down or hold you back, how can you move forward and grow if you have one foot constantly stuck in the past, like a concrete boot ! You need to Accept what has happened or at least find a way through to deal with what has happened

Don't Rush Into another Relationship
Finding Love with someone else when you still don't really know who you are and what you want out of life, is not fair on either yourself or your new partner.

In those two years, use them to your advantage. I used to sit and feel sorry for myself, I used to think I deserved everything that has happening to me. But I got out and started fighting back, I joined the domestic abuse programmes and learnt just how many women had the same story as me, On my own I was weak but with the support and backing of people who understood I quietly grew stronger.

I honestly don't recognise myself from some of my earlier blogs and articles.
Lets face it I am never going to be a feisty, confrontational woman, I will always back away from an arguement, I just don't do tension

So my two years since ending the marriage was March 2008, my two years since first seeing a solicitor is June 2008. I used to dream of seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not looking for that light any more, because by some miracle I am actually through the tunnel without even noticing that I had left it !!!!

So, yes being told it takes 2 years isn't a pleasant thought, but using those 2 years to become a better and stronger person, is priceless.