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ADVICE RATING

4.19 (Worth a try) from 10 votes (84 Visits)

Neglect

by ldybgsgma99

(June 2008) (rank 500+)

Before I go any further, I have to say so there is no misunderstanding, I love my granddaughter with all my heart. She is my pride and joy and I love every minute I am allowed to spend with her.

School has been out here where we live since

May 29th. My granddaughter has spent a total of three nights at her home since May 23rd. Her mother and her stepfather seem to have forgotten that she is around. The sad part about it is the fact that they get child support for her and also receive food stamps for her and I am the one that is paying to care for her.

In my opinion, this is neglect. If you are going to have children, then be prepared to give up your lifestyle for them. They need unconditional love and support, not just the occasional hug when you get tired of partying. It is not beneficial to the child or to the parent for that matter. Children are a gift not a burden. They should not be used for monetary gain and then ignored.

That being said, my granddaughter and I are getting along great. She knows that even though her mother doesn't care, I love her with all my heart and I will be there for her. She would very much like to stay with me on a permanent basis but sadly, Illinois doesn't believe in grandparents rights. I am seriously thinking about contacting an attorney to see about making it a permanent arrangement.

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ADVICE RATING

4.19 (Worth a try) from 10 votes

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	July 2008 \| mcm

Re: Neglect

Thankfully your granddaughter will not be neglected if you are caring for her.

It worries me that ppl do take advantage of grandparents but at the same time there should be a balance. And for some families it works out well either way.

In Maori culture the elders take care of the grandparents so the parents can provide.

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	July 2008 \| mcm

Re: Neglect

I mean take care of the grandchildren not grandparents.

In Maori culture the elders take care of the grandparents children so the parents can provide.

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	June 2008 \| champers1964

Re: Neglect

Im not sure what to say....you said that in a short 6 nights(from the 23rd May to the 29th May) you have had your grandaughter 3 nights, sorry but that doesnt sound over the top to me or neglect, sorry. Did you write that correctly?

Extended family should provide support, there is not enough of it done today. Cherish this relationship, be there to love and support your granddaughter.

Extended famlies used to share the care of the children with grandparents, Aunts, sisters etc supporting each other how lucky the children were. Be there and care dont put down the parents in front of your granddaughter and unless she is being abused or competely neglected (starved, not meeting medical needs, lack of adequate shelter, not attending school....that sort of thing) then the only thing to come out of legal action is financial distress and anger and resentment from both sides. Your granddaughter may not be allowed to visit you. Sometimes grandparents are the most stable people in a childs life so I wouldnt want to take any risks in keeping the doors open for your granddaughter.

Love her and enjoy the time together. Miriam

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	June 2008 \| Amerlinwinga

Re: Neglect

Thanks for sharing......I dont know what to say without getting it wrong or more like sounding wrong. So all i can say is your granddaughter is lucky to have you.

Hugs Tee

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	June 2008 \| Queen-Fire

Re: Neglect

This is great that you can care for your granddaughter like u do.... Hope your daughter wakes up soon..... but if she doesn't she is the one missing out as having a child is such a wonderful beatiful thing.... Yes it is a burden but it is a burden of love.... I didn't realise how much of a burden it was til i had Damian.

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	June 2008 \| Juzzy

Re: Neglect

Thanks for sharing. Have you spoken to your daughter about this? I would speak to an attorney about making this a full time thing just so her parents don't get any money. What is going to happen to this poor girl when her school goes back?

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	June 2008 \| cazza

Re: Neglect

Thank you for sharing that with us,, and with all the recent sad news in australia lately i hope your daughter appreciates all the help she gets from you...

I think its important for some grandparents to spend time with their grandkids, but not to be their main carer for the purpose of what you have pointed out...

xx cazza

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