After being on the pill for 11 years, I decided that it would be the right time to start a family.I came off the pill at 27 and consequently had my twinnies at 28.I managed to get pregnant really quickly, within 2 weeks of coming off the pill!! I must
admit I was quite shocked that I concieved so quickly.
After taking the home pregnancy test and it being positive I went into an absolute state of panic-bearing in mind I didn't even know it was twins at this point.
By the time my appointment came through for my first scan I was already quite big.My mum and dad would say, 'Bet there's two in there'. I used to say no there isn't but I think I knew then because I was simply so big.
At the Maternity Hospital I was a nervous wreck.Laying on the examination couch I can honestly say I was terrified.As the nurse examined me and started the scan I said,'you'd better have a good look because everyone thinks I'm having two and my partner( now my ex) is also a twin'. Then she said it,'Yep you're right there is two'.I felt my heart go in my mouth and a wave of absolute panic came over me.I was told to go and wait in the waiting room because I would have to seen by a paedatrician.Lots of questioning followed about any health problems in either families which is normal .I then raised the fact that my partner was born with talipes(club foot). They said it would be highly likely that one of the twins could be born with clubfoot.
The journey home was in total silence. I felt like my world had stopped.I had no idea how I would cope with one baby, never mind two!! All HE would say was well my mam coped so you'll just have to won't you?This attitude continued all through my pregnancy, which was the start of the decline in my feelings for him.
By the time I was 3 months pregnant I was the size of a small house!! I already looked 6 months.My next scan was fine and was told that they were both growing as normal but they were already concerned about my fluid retention.
I went off things I normally loved-bacon, coffee and couldn't stand the smell of bleach.Yet I craved curry and couldn't get enough of the stuff!
At my next scan I was told one twin was growing more rapidly than the other and it could cause problems.I then had to have scans every two weeks and this continued right through my pregnancy.Sometimes I would have to sit for 2-3hrs strapped to a monitor so they could monitor their heart beats and prod and poke me.My fluid retention got worse and I then developed excessively high blood pressure and was twice on the verge of pre-eclampsia.
At six months I was wearing XXXXL knickers-real sexy and size 9 mens slippers.I could hardly walk and couldn't go out on my own because I was so huge my balance went out of sync.The twins were also transverse-one was laid across the other and it was really uncomfortable,one of them had their foot stuck under my ribs.I had doppler scans done which I found really uncomfortable.The scan is done with a pencil shaped scanner and they poke about to detect the flow of blood through the babies veins.
By the time I was 7 months I was massive and was told I could give birth anytime.My parner wasn't at all nice to me or supported me in any way throughout my pregnancy.My legs got really fat and bloated and he said my legs looked like elaphants and he couldn't stand to look at me.When I would take a bath and the twins would move about, I would ask him to come and look and feel my stomach-he never did because he said it made him feel sick.Even out of the bath he would never feel them move because he said I made him balk.We would go to his sister's he would have to drive me because I was too big to walk.She would go mad at him about the way he treat me and spoke to me and she would sit and massage my feet for me for ages because they were so swollen.
At about this time I was so big that I asked him to sleep on the couch.Looking back I think that it was because I was getting that I couldn't stand him near me.He stayed there for the rest of my pregnancy and it suited me fine.
On a Wednesday evening I started in labour.I was rushed to hospital and given drugs to develope my babies lungs because I was only 33 weeks at that point.He didn't stay with me and quickly went home after they settled me for the night.I stayed in hospital until the Saturday morning when they said I had to go home.That morning I had had a 'show' but they still sent me home.
I felt really unwell and he still went to work at 4pm and left me on my own-apart from my dog,Tess!!
By the time he came home at 1am I was in labour in agony upstairs in bed and he didn't even come upstairs when he came home to see if I was okay.My dog had been upstairs with me all night and it was only when she went downstairs and started barking at him he came up.
We arrived at the hospital 20 mins later after my waters breaking all over his beloved car-what a shame!!
My labour wasn't too bad really.I got to the hospital at 1.45am and they were born at 5.25am and 5.30 am weighing 4lb 10oz and 4lb 13oz.
They were both whisked off to the special baby care unit and I didn't even get to hold Luke because he was poorly and had problems breathing.
Two hours after I gave birth he went home because he said he was tired after being at work!!! I was also having problems breathing and having pains in my chest and he still went home.It was initially suspected that I could have a blood clot on my lung yet he still went.I knew then that I wouldn't be with him forever and at that moment I hated him.I hadn't seen my babies properly and he naffed off home leaving me with a potentially life threatening situation.
My chest turned out(after having emergency scans at another hospital) to be fluid.Because I had carried so much fluid in pregnancy, during child birth the fluid had gone onto my lungs.
My twins were in special baby care for 2 weeks and I had to leave them in there while I came home after 5 days.It was a terrible time and was really hard.It was also the beginning of the end of our relationship because he continued to be an ass even when I brought them home.
A
(June 22nd) (
