I feel that you are showing him the value of a parent/child relationship that is unconditional love,a bond that is stronger than superglue.His father is the one who'll be full of regrets once he realises that you can't turn back time to do things over.Maybe this experince will encourage him to be the man his father isn't.

 Wow, this story broke my heart. Physical wounds can heal with time, but never a broken spirit. My older son has been through emotional abuse too, although not as severe, but it still hurts (and that's how it begins). I congratulate you on being such a strong woman. My prayers are with you. I wish you the best of luck with everything.

Sooo sooo true. Your sons experience is so close to my own. Its sad that children of these parents grow to expect disappointment.

Big Hugs you are a great Mum.

Sacha

emotional abuse leave deeper scars, than physical. good piece of advice.it was a bit sad to read, but u just carry on being the mother that you are. his father will relaise his mistake when your children are old enough to make up their own minds about him & it will be too late. that'll be his own fault

You sound like a wonderful mother,i wish someone had given certain people in my life that advise.

xx

 Every child does deserve tow loving parents....but when that is not the case, they are better off with one loving parent....than with one loving & one disruptive parent.

This is  advice given from the heart....thanks.

Cheers Janice 

Wonderful advice from a loving mother. I also have not personally been involved in this situation with my children, but having a rat bastard of a father (excuse the term) I can fully understand from the childs perspective. All you can do hun, is keep doing what you are doing- a wonderful job at raising your children. You are a terrific example of a mother and what it is to be a mother.

vey helpfull

This is really a good advice.

Good for you Super mumy  .....

That is just so upsetting.  I fortunately do not personally know of that situation as my Daughter has a great relationship with her father.

Her morning routine is the same; get milk off me and then crawl to our bedroom, push the door open then open the sliding bathroom door so she can see Daddy.

Know the feeling I'm in the same position with two girls!!!!!!!!!!????????

great adviceas always helen you are a fab mum to your kids dont you forget it xxx

Just from reading this I can tell you are a great mum. I know you worry about how your kids will be when they are older because of the dramas there dad has forced upon them but I want to reassure you as adults or teens they will see all you did to protect them how much you worried for them because you love them, that is all they want and need and I know the older they get the less they will long for dad beacause they will realise he is selfish and hurts them more than he helps.

I know this because I am 22yo and the person who protected me was not my mother or father, but my best friend and because of all the times she rescued me, cried with me and comforted me I will always love her like a mother.

Peace & Court

Hiya Helen,

                     WOW now there's the fighting spirit I have come to love in you. We both know that I know first hand what this can be like for the kids. I've worked my butt off to make sure that Miss g knows just how loved she is. All your kids know just how much you love and respect them.... believe me that speaks volumes to them. Helen, you're a fantastic Mum and friend to your kids...... they are very lucky to have you as their Mum!

Fantastic article!!!!

fi xoxo

 Great article Helen,

It's so hurtful when  Sami has a birthday and she's lucky if she even gets a phone call. In 7 years she has had two presents from her father. He never rings any other time except maybe christmas. Sami doesn't talk about her father at all, the only time she has mentioned him is to say she doesn't have a father. It's so unfair and hurtful. She has asked me why in the past and my only answer is that I don't know but he still loves her. The look of skepticism said it all.

Hi honey,

This is another fantastic article . . WELL DONE . . It often saddens me when both parents forget that they still are PARENTS when they being bickering. As a foster parent I get to see how much damage this does to many children. It is really sad and heartbreaking to see a child who is 'broken' from watching the battles of both parents . .

It takes a REAL parent such as yourself to stand up and NOT battle and protect their child. . Well done matey . .

Cheers Kellz xoxox

Excellent article and you have done so well for your children considering what their Father has put you all through..

You should be so proud as your boys look great, and it showed this week how daniel just shines in those pics..

xx cazza

This is unfortunately such a common story, and it breaks my heart. All we parents can do is try to make up for the situation as best we can. I think its particulary harder for boys if the Dad is uncaring and distant (girls if it comes from the mother). Our children develop a sense of themselves from the same sex parent and if the role model is abusive then the childs self-esteem is abused.

All I can say is hang-in there, know that your son has at least one caring parent (more than some kids have got) help him to develop his own self image so he knows its not his fault but that his father just doesnt know how to be a parent.

This is such a good article and I can only stress that children should not be involved when a mum and dad decide they are no longer staying together they should know with great assurance that it does not mean that one or the other does not love them.Children are God's gift to parentsand nothing can alter the fact that they have a mum and a dad.It is important that both parents although not together it is important that both remember the dates of the children's birthdays.We have all tried to encourage them to see their dad and it is so heartbreaking to hear Daniel say he wants his dad to love him.......and then when there is contact he is so stressed 11 years old and stressed poor lad.He is such a bright, intelligent lad and we want to keep it that way don't we darling daughter?       

Great article and good for you.I feel so sorry for Daniel getting rejected again and again.It's so sad.I have a stepson (not really cos me and his dad aren't married but I call him stepson),he has been in care since he was 12-we did have him with us for a while but it just didn't work out.He constantly craves his mums attention-it was her that put him in care.He has cried over and over to me about how bad she makes him feel yet all he wants is her love, something he is never going to get.She doesn't contact him for weeks and then rings him to verbally abuse him.She has nearly destroyed him but he still goes back for more.

All you can do is your best and that is exactly what you are doing.I read your  blog the  other day after Dr Who and you gave him a great time.I'm sure he will get over this current disappointment because you are there for him as always- a great mum.

Love Lisa xx

hello

i am new and i hope i am meant to rite here. this is a good writing advice. one of my kids had a frind who had bad parents they fight all time and often this kid would com andstey at my home. she would cry at nite and i would hold her in my arms. it make me angy that her parents seemed to foget about their child. kids are such a gift