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Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

kristinabrooke by kristinabrooke Talking Back(June 29th) (rank 53rd)

My daughter is 2 now and every day, while I am putting her to bed for the night, I thank the universe for schedules. I had my daughter in 2006 during my second year teaching in a very high needs school. I was going to graduate school at night and

my husband worked the overnight shift. At times, life was very stressful. And while my daughter was a good sleeper from the start (meaning she slept like a normal baby) eventually, we realized that nothing good could last forever. Lo and behold, she began a 7:00 PM witching hour that seemed to last forever.

One night after crying hysterically because she would not sleep, I realized something: iif 7 PM was her witching hour, then she needed to be put to sleep before that. If we never made it to 7, then her witching hour would not exist. It sounded logical, but sometimes, logical is not always right. I put her to bed at 6:45 PM but at 7 she was up and screaming. What the heck is wrong?

Then it suddenly occurred to me that she needed to be in a DEEP sleep at 7. So the next night I put her to bed at 5:45 pm. I had a killer paper to write and she needed to sleep so that I could work. I went out into the living room and started my paper. I looked up at the clock and it was 6:58 PM. I held my breath think that this was the make or break point. At 7:00 PM she stirred a little, but she did not wake up. I stood outside her door for almost an hour and she did budge. I continued this routine for a week thinking that it was only a matter of time before the fit hit the shan. But it never did.

At two years old my daughter is a ball of energy. But even on the nights when we have to be out past her bed time, she falls asleep as soon as she can. If we are in the car or at some one's house, she falls asleep. New moms often ask me how I get her to fall asleep every night at the same time and so early. My response is always the same: go with your gut.

You know your child better than any one and you know what you need. Many people will tell you not to use schedules. Some will say that it is the only way to get sanity. For me, that was true. I had to make sure that my daughter was in bed every night at the same time. She goes to bed between 5-6:30 every night and she sleeps all night. I am adamant that she is not up past her bed time because I know that we will both go crazy. Do what works for you and don;t be afraid to try something new if all else fails. But once you find what works for you, don't fight it. Stick to and you will see that life gets easier.

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exquisite-flower
September 28th | exquisite-flower
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

This has worked for us, and other parents are amazed first of all that E is asleep when I say she will be, and second of all that a single mother can make it happen.  It certainly makes life a lot easier when we have a late night or are ultra tired and need an earlier bedtime.  She loves bedtime being at 7pm, and if we are out she will tell whomever we are out with that she needs to go home now in time for 'my 7 o'clock bedtime'.  Makes my time keeping a lot easier for sure!!!

Peace
EF.x



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pavementcracks70
July 3rd | pavementcracks70
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

seems like that witching hour was due to little one being overtired,,,,,good thinking and thanks for sharing!



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mhoppal
July 3rd | mhoppal
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

I agree - this is fantastic advice. Even if it's not conventional, pick what you know will work for your kids (and your sanity).



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mum2alittleboy
July 1st | mum2alittleboy
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

Fantastic advice. Routine is something we need and kids need just so they know what to expect. I don't know HOW parents can let their kids pick their own bed times. I would be exhausted!



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Juzzy
July 1st | Juzzy
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

We never had a routine for our son when he was born and he turned out to be a shocking sleeper, even at almost 3 he still wakes up everynight. When we had our daughter i made sure from word go that we had a routine and she has been sleeping through the night from the day we came home from hospital.

Great advice



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Mummymia
June 30th | Mummymia
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

this is good writing. havin a schedule is imporant but you also need to listen to ya kids as they do know some things too. me girls always tell me when changes needed to be made.



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nabutters
June 30th | nabutters
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

this is great advice....i find my little one has needed a routine, if her routine is broken whether its because of sickness or something that cant be helped, she is very very cranky and takes a cpl of days to get back to it....this was good reading....cheers!!! naxx



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cazza
June 29th | cazza
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

Great advice .. I have bed routines for all mine, and is very important for my Youngest as if she stays out of her routine, she is crabby at school the next day..

xx cazza



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Rukia
June 29th | Rukia
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

I cant do routines. it stresses me to much (i have a mental illness and routine aint good) but my kids need it. My son is autistic and needs to be in bed by 7 or he cant cope the next day.

My kids have had a routine since birth and have slept wonderful the whole time. never had a prob with them.



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emmysmum
June 29th | emmysmum
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

i am one of those people who don't agree with schedules - as they allow for no flexibility. Routines on the other hand, leave room to maneuver if you need some flexibility.
For night time sleep, my girl has a half hr time frame from specified time for bed to flexibility in case we are out. Her set bedtime is 8:00pm but if she has slept through the day, it is sometimes 8:30 before she is put in bed to settle for the night. We read her a story and sit on the lounge with her so she can wind down and be nice and relaxed for bed. Often we give her a glass of warm milk to help her sleep too.
This is great advice though. Keep up the good work!



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Kellzacar
June 29th | Kellzacar
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

Hi there,

this is great advice - I truly believe in routines and have used them with ALL my children BUT having a routine also means that you need to listen to your child and be prepared to be flexible . .  As my children have grown their routines have grown along with them . .

Cheers Kellz



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llmunchkin
June 29th | llmunchkin
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

Excellent advice, we were a bit slack with bedtime on the weekend, and boy did we pay the price.  It is important to have a routine, however, as you say, the routine needs to be based on your child's and family's requirements.  As children grow, their needs for sleep etc may change, so it pays to be a bit flexibl and not to rigid to avoid stress and disappointment.



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cassaustin
June 29th | cassaustin
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

Great advice! I have always tried to keep my little man in a routine. I have had many bad nights but just recently we have been getting to the point where he is only waking up once, if at all thru the night. I also put him to bed between 5.30 and 6.30. He generally lets me know when he is tired, and it is a very rare occasion that he is up past that time.



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kseers
June 29th | kseers
Re: Go With Your Gut When it Comes to Schedules

Well written, thanks for sharing.  I am one of those mums whose baby hated routines and found them impossible, but now they are what keeps us sane and I sometimes wish I could've started them sooner.  I so agree with you though that you know what your child needs and you need to listen to that instinct when planning your routine.



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