ADVICE RATING |
  3.50 (May work) from 20 votes (125 Visits) |
Are you an equal in your marriage/relationship? Do you think you are an equal in your relationship? In today’s society you should feel you are an equal. Gone are the days where mum stays at home, dose the housework while dad is at work. Many people this 
role is reversed or even the children are out into Day care and both parents go back to work (personally if you can do this, go for it.) Gone are the days where we could survive on 1 bread winner. These days with the rising cost of petrol and food and mortgage, not many can survive on the one income.
But back to my question. Do you feel like an equal?
If you are the one working do you feel over worked and underpaid?
If you are the one “carrying” the children and housework do you feel not paid and over worked?
When my husband worked I sure did. I felt he had social time where I was stuck at home looking after the house and kids and I made sure that when he walked in the door the kids were happy and dinner wasn’t far away (he finished at 430pm, so too early for dinner) But being an equal in today’s society is harder than it sounds. Take for example the old style of Dad works and Mum is at home. Who do you think dose the most work? I decided to this year test this out. I went back to school full time. 9-4 every day with 1.5hours travel. I was already gone when my k ids got up, and it was dinner time when I got home. My hubby struggled as he didn’t realise how demanding it is having 2 high needs kids. Our son is Autistic (PDD-NOS)as well as ADD and has to be watched and reminded to do things constantly, my daughter has the mind of a 15+year old, will do whatever she wants and when she wants and hides things (typical girl) but with added ADHD, and my poor hubby is ADD. He found it was not easy to do the housework daily and shopping wasn’t fun either. Thankfully he had 2 days without our daughter as she is at Kindy. My 2nd day at school he rang me and asked “how do you do it?” Now my house is never spotless. And there is always something needed doing and lately it has become worse with my decreased health problems. So having the extra person here is a god send.
Now the equal part. From doing this schooling, my hubby came to me and said, Wow babe, work is easier that looking after a house and kids. I was not expecting this at all. Now I am lucky. My husband has always come home from work and helped with the kids whether it be bathing, bed time, changing nappies the lot and even if he had work the next day hospital if needed. So I have never had a problem with my hubby when it comes to helping out about the house or with the kids.
Now do you feel like an equal in the house? In your relationship? Do you do more for your partner than he does for you? Don’t take into account birthdays and anniversaries, they just don’t matter as much to them as it does to us, (it's a man thing) do you give each other space? Do they take the kids so you can go out or does it become an argument? Do they cook (some men just can’t)? What is it really you want in this whole outcome? Sit there and think. Most people would say security and love and respect. I know that’s all I want.
If you feel you are not equal, why not have a chat to your partner about it! Every woman needs time away from being a Mum and every Man needs time away from being Bread winner and Dad. Why not organise a date a month where he goes out and then you go out. It doesn’t matter what you do. I go to my girlfriends house and scrapbook. Hubby goes out with his mates. Granted we haven’t done this for awhile as his mate has a new girlfriend and they are always together, but he does come over and spend time with our family. Which again is good.
Do you do family things together? Now the biggest question is who makes all the descisions in the house? Who pays the bills? Who does the shopping and decised what you have for tea? In my house we have a rule, any purchase over $50 must be discussed, this came about after I had my son and I went out shopping with my MIL and I spent over $200 on clothes and toys on our son. We do our food shopping together and make a menu for the week. We try to follow the menu too. When it comes to bills that is my job as my hubby doesn’t know how to do the internet banking, but I am teaching him. We also have a rule of whoever cooks the other does this dishes. Sadly this doesn’t work all the time (due to my health and other things)
So if you are an equal in your house that is great, cause no one needs to be told what to do. And everyone should be equal in a relationship.
(July 7th) (
